"Tear myself up, start again with a brand-new name and eyes that see into infinity..." ~ 30 Seconds to Mars<333

So we last left off with the NORMA JEAN concert synopsis. I've come to the conclusion that although it was violent, I loved it and am going to yet another hXc concert as soon as I can :) I love the style of music and the fact that the shows are full of energy; it's amazing.

Speaking of amazing, I started this thing on MySpace where I decided that I MUST get 1000 friends by the end of the month. In the fury of all the friend requests, I met Dallas, a 17-year-old guy from Oklahoma. Well, we started talking and by Monday we were dating. We still are, but it's starting to get to me because we've never met and I really like involvement...physical involvement...like what I had with Kyle.

Oh, Kyle...yeah, he and I dated...for two days. He dumped me, saying that he didn't really love me and it was impossible for him to. I think it's a load of bull but I don't say anything to him. I still love him with every fiber of my being and want him back! We still talk and hopefully will until he graduates at the end of the year, which brings me to my next subject....

I made my schedule for next year yesterday; my Senior year. And it's pretty awesome; I'm taking alot of computer courses and music courses so my two life goals are pretty much complete (to become a computer/web designer and radio dj). As I was reading over the pamphilet on the SATs (which I'm taking on October 6), it hit me: I'm terrified. I don't want to be a Senior, graduate, and go out into the "real world". I'm not ready! And I remembered: I'm going to be 18 in September :o I'm REALLY not ready for that, mannnn! I don't know what to do! Rocky says to party for the next 5 months then I'll be ready for Senior year, but I just feel like hyperventalating in my bedroom and never coming out :P

Terrified...and still in love with a guy that always hurts me, regardless of what he does...

I need help! lol

*sigh* What to do, what to do?
E-RI-E is coming up within the next 3 weeks and I still don't know my lines for Act I :x I'm good with Act II, though, so that counts for a little.

Can't wait for that to be over though...:P

With that, I think I'll leave before I continue my rambling...hahaha! Although, isn't that what a blog is for? I've always thought so...

until next we meet...

♥*

I will see you in a Broadway year, a New York second, a Wall Street minute, A Hollywood moment... ~ The Chariot*

As you can see, the show was AMAZING!! We (Rocky, Katy, Jocie, and I) met the former lead singer of NORMA JEAN who now leads the band The Chariot. His name is Josh and he signed my shirt XDDXDDXDD

But that show was nuts. The bands were amazing, especially NORMA JEAN and The Chariot, but the people at the show were insane. I know Northern Lights is a nightclub and that alcohol/drugs were sold there, but COME ON!!!! People don't need to get thrown or kicked or stepped on like we did last night. Yeah, some guy was chucked in my direction and our head got knocked together, so for a while I was like really dizzy and out of it. Then, during NORMA JEAN, this freak in a puppy dog sweater (no lie) tried to climb on my shoulders to get on stage. I pushed him off me and when I did, he kicked me in the stomach.
That was nothing. Rocky was right in the front line of the mosh pit defending us and he pushed some idiot away, only to get kicked in the head about 8 times for doing so. Then he got an "F--- you" and told that it was his own fault he got hurt.
This just isn't right. Aren't concerts supposed to be about the music, not abusing other people (women, preferably)? I mean, the show was AMAZING, like I said...but the people were such idiots and I KNOW that most of them didn't come to see the bands. It's sad, because they don't even realize that some of us (like me and my crew) actually wanted to watch the show and not get involved with the mosh pit. It wasn't even halfway into the first song and the idiots spread out a circle in the middle of the place and started to fight. It's like COME ON PEOPLE! I paid to see NORMA JEAN, not to get people thrown at me and kicked in the stomach.

But whatever...people are just idiots and I WILL find Puppy Dog Sweater Guy and kill him...Rocky can help me hahaha!

Rocky is officially my hero and I owe him my life right now. Without him, we'd probably be dead or close to it. I love youuuuuu!!!!!!! hehe!

well, that's my rant for the day...

until next we meet...
♥*

"We're nothing short of invincible" ~ underØATH♥♥♥

I kinda like this blog. No one leaves me any nasty comments here or anything, so I feel safe.

Anyways...the past couple days have been a test for me. Monday it finally occured to me that Kyle is graduating and leaving. After June 23, he and I won't be talking most likely, and it makes me sad. I love him, even if it's just as a really good friend, it's love. Then Tuesday he and I talked and it got emotional, especially when we started talking about dreams. Long story short, I cried, he apologized profusively, and then he had to leave.
Later that day, Rocky and I saw each other at rehearsal, where I told him the only phrase I know in German aside from "gutentag": "Enben kernad ich liebe dich", which roughly translated is "I'm sorry I love you". He took this as a "OMGosh, Kristin fell for me again" and called me after rehearsal to ask me not to love him. I mean, dudeee...it's a phrase. But I don't care. We're still going to a concert on Monday!!!! I'm excited!!!!
And today was alright. I went to Allyson's afterschool and we decided to write a fanfic where I'm in love with Professor Snape. "Snapey-wapey"..."I want to be your potions misstress...I mean, the potions mistress, not yours...I mean, I'd be yours if you want but...ahhhh!!!!" It's funny because in it everyone else is like all weirded out by my love of the teacher =P Then at rehearsal tonight, Rocky and I talked again...and we discovered that we're both easily amused and that I can actually act XDDXDDXDD He's surprised =P And we still can't wait till Monday :) NORMA JEAN!!!! w00t!!!!!

Well...I don't really know how to end this, except to say goodnite and that I think I'll come back sometime in the near future. Oh, and that I love Kyle...I will get him out of the glass box soon...this I promise you...

until next we meet...
♥*

Diamond rope, silver chain, pretty noose is pretty pain, and I don't like what you've got me hanging from... ~ Soundgarden

Whoa! alot's gone on since last week! Sorry for the lack of updates; been reallyyyyy busy :P

The Pops Concert was awesome, especially our finale of High School Musical. I'm so happy I was in it! Although Syri and I thought we messed up our song ("Truly Madly Deeply" from Savage Garden), everyone told me we were great :) Cannot wait till next year's; SENIOR!!!! w00t!!!!
So after that I still have drama rehearsals, in which I'm now one of the main characters :D I'm so excited! I can't wait to officially start blocking my character and rehearsing as Thomas. Yes, I said Thomas as in I play a guy =x Rocky's my big brother, Erik, and my new friend Laura is my mom. Oh, and this little guy named Nate is my father. The sad thing is I play the youngest member of this family and I'm the oldest out of all the actors haha! But I'm excited like I said!

Then yesterday a had a bike . She fractured her nose, chipped her teeth, and had to get a buttload of stitches. Of course I'm the nice one who offers to run back up to the school to try and convince the nurse to come help us and she said no ("it's considered to be off of school property; I cannot leave the building; blah blah blah"...whatever), so from all the running (in circles, nonetheless) I was dizzy and couldn't stop coughing. I sat down on the hill by the school and as I was sitting there, Kyle came over and asked me if I was okay. I thought that that's all he wanted to say so I got up and started to leave, only to be told that I'm cute (his exact words: "You're cute. I can't believe I never noticed this before. No, you're not just cute; you're down-right attractive" XDDXDDXDD *much much happy!!!*). Of course, I can't leave after that, so we started talking and he apologized for pushing me away as much as he has and I don't know...I just hope something good comes out of this. You know, like maybe we'll start dating and we'll be happy :):):):):):):):)

But that's about all that's going on in my life for the moment...except I'm going to the Winter Ball tomorrow night with Rocky. This should be fun :) I'll get some pictures and post them here so we can all be happy and say I'm pretty (just kidding with that last one :P).



Well, I think I'll go for now...:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

until next we meet...
♥*

Am I ever on your mind? ~ Evans Blue

I FINALLY know exactly what I want in a guy...

Firstly, he should want to be with me
Be there to hold me through the nightmare and wipe away the tears that I shed from all the damage I've been put through
Someone who will sing me to sleep, either on the phone or in person
Someone who will push me around in the back of a shopping cart
Someone who fully accepts me; dreams, wishes, scars, everything
He can't walk away from me when I need him
Laugh at my humourous things (I can be funny)
Don't put me down, ever
Don't lie to me; it disappoints me more than knowing the cold truth
Spend hours on the phone with me, just because it helps him feel close to me, and I can hear his voice; maybe even fall asleep on the phone with me
Someone who will make me feel safe...even when I'm not in their arms
We should have things in common, but I'm very open-minded and willing to try new things
MUST be open-minded; if he's not, he won't be able to put up with me
His looks are secondary, be he should be attractive in my eyes
He should tell me I'm beautiful, because he truly thinks I am
Finally, I just want a guy who will simply stand still with me...as if we're the only two people left in existance...or so we should feel...

I've been thinking about this for a long time now, and no Donny isn't this guy. I haven't found this guy yet...thought I did at one point, but he ditched me. I still love him but I've given up hope. Then there have been others that have come close but none are perfect, which is what I want. A human guy, a guy who doesn't have a God Complex or a huge Ego and doesn't need me and I DO NOT want a guy who thinks he has to lie to me to keep me happy! That's the LAST thing I want.
But my list...*sigh* So much I put into it...

Will anyone fill this void in my life? =/

<3*

"My conscience calls too guilty to come home..." ~ Bullet For My Valentine

Hahaha, oh how I love my friends, especially Rocky!
messed up STAR k: right, it would be cute to push your gf around in a shopping cart at like wal-mart or price chopper?
CPrelientK77: um maybe
messed up STAR k: omgoshhhhh...do you think I'm insane too
messed up STAR k: ?
CPrelientK77: lol
CPrelientK77: nooo.... y wud i think that?
CPrelientK77: j/k lol
messed up STAR k: lol...*sigh* that's all I want...a guy to push me around in a shopping cart
messed up STAR k: the back of it, not the kiddie seat haha
CPrelientK77: that means that you're dangerously dependent on guys
CPrelientK77: no seriously I read that in a book
CPrelientK77: or not...;-)
messed up STAR k: whattttt???? I just thought it sounded cute
messed up STAR k: I'm not dependant on anyone, except Jesus
CPrelientK77: lol
CPrelientK77: i wuz j/k
CPrelientK77: wankin your chain lol
messed up STAR k: hahahaha surrrre

*sigh* All I want is a guy to push me around a store in a shopping cart. I think it would be adorable and I'd sooo take pictures hehe!

Also, everyone should listen to the song "Existentalism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run. It's amazing!

...Sing me something soft

Sad and delicate

Or loud and out of key

Sing me anything...

Seriously, go download it or something...NOW!! I would love to perform it for the Pops Concert next year as it is my Senior High School year =P But the teacher probably won't let me, because it's sung by a guy. Whatever though...it would be super uber...hehe!

the rest of the night is devoted to homework and rehearsal...grrrrr....

until next we meet...<3

This song helps me get through all the hard times I've been going through over the past couple weeks...

Although this is going to sound cliche since I love music as much as I do, I have a song that has honestly helped me in alot of areas. May it be giving my life fully to The Lord Jesus Christ or just getting through a day at high school...and this band is AMAZING...
So without anymore introduction...

underØATH :: Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape

I heard a voice through the discord
A deluge of passersby
I saw one gaze frozen in time
Watching me passing by

And I swear I'll know your face in the crowd
And I'll hear your voice so loud
When you're whispering

Hey unfaithful
I will teach you
To be stronger, to be stronger
Hey ungraceful
I will teach you
To forgive one another.

Here's my kiss to betray (Kiss to betray)
Desperate to brush the lips of grace (Brush the lips of grace)
Do you feel hollow when you think of how I lied?

Oh sweet angel of mercy
With your grace like the morning
Wrap your loving arms around me
Oh sweet angel of mercy
With your grace like the morning
Wrap your loving arms around me

Hey unfaithful
I will teach you
To be stronger, to be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another

Hey unfaithful
I will teach you
To be stronger, to be stronger
Hey unloving
I will love you
I will love you
I will love you

And Jesus I'm ready to come home
Jesus, I'm ready to come home
(home) home (home)
I'm ready to come (home)

Hey Unfaithful
Hey Ungraceful
Hey Unloving
I will love you
Hey Unloving (Hey Unloving)
I will love you

And with that, I shall return to my discussion about religion with Clayton...
♥*