Due to circumstances beyond my control, I'm getting a new blog.
This always happens; can't keep a blog for a year without having to change the address.
Whatever, though. If you're interested in the new link, comment and I'll send it to you =]
If not, have fun reading about my 2007 XD
I'm not deleting anything, because if there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's you cannot change the past, no matter how bad it may seem.
So...
until next we meet...
♥*
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
"...I think it's everytime I walk into a room, the silence so sudden, I seem to hear you..." ~ CHIODOS<333
Well, it's Christmas again. I should be happy; I have a loving boyfriend, friends who think the world of me, and a family who adores me most of the time. But it always depresses me at this time of year.
I guess it's because when I was younger, Christmas was a joyous time for me. We'd go to my great-grandmother's family party and it was amazing to see everyone that you only get to see once a year or so; sometimes they came over on Easter, but that was about it. We'd all exchange gifts and talk about the past year and be happy. My great-grandmother passed away when I was in 5th grade, suddenly as a matter of fact; no one expected her to, although she was 73 I believe.
And even before that, my grandmother my mother and I lived with killed herself on Mother's Day when I was 7. Since then, my life hasn't been the same. Is it bad that I can still hear her talking to me, calling me "Dolly" like she used to? You better believe I was a devastated little girl after that. Gah, even thinking and writing about it is bringing me back...I could've stopped her, I know I could've. I could've stayed inside that day, but being me, I had to be outside, picking and arranging flowers for various occasions [yes, I was a practical little kid, even though I didn't play much; I was too busy with ballet and all the dance classes I was taking, as well as the occasional talent competition I got entered in]. But no, I had to be me...why?! She'd still be here...and I'd have someone else who cared about me. And my great-grandmother was her mother. No mother should have to bury their child; it's just not right. And the fact that she killed herself didn't help me.
But whatever. This year's going to be different, and I know I say that each year, but this time I'm dead serious. I'm going to attempt being actually happy, not just the happiness that comes from years of acting classes and plays. Richard♥ brings so much happiness into my life, it's illegal =P It's like I can't be upset when I'm talking to him; it's not allowed. It's amazing, and I love him so much for everything he's helped me through. Without him, I'd be a depressed emo kid again, and I don't want to be that anymore =]
This does bring me into something that is completely off-topic of my subject, but I just don't understand why people want to sabotage my relationship with Richard♥. It's like I can't be happy or something. My sister told Krystina that Richard♥ and I screwed, which WE DIDN'T, and she flipped out and yelled at Richard♥. That would've been alright with me, but his mother was reading the conversation and she now thinks I'm a dirty whore or something because apparently I'm screwing Richard♥. If needed, I'll prove I'm still a virgin; why is that so hard to believe? Yes, I've kissed guys; yes, I've made out; yes, I've touched things...that doesn't mean I've had sex, because I haven't. I don't plan on it for a long time still and I know Richard♥ feels the same way; sex is one of the last things on our minds. I hope people understand that. And I hope his mother can forgive me...or something...because I can't lose him. Without him, I'm nothing.
So with all that, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and happiness XD
until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: CHIODOS - Intensity In Ten Cities
via FoxyTunes
I guess it's because when I was younger, Christmas was a joyous time for me. We'd go to my great-grandmother's family party and it was amazing to see everyone that you only get to see once a year or so; sometimes they came over on Easter, but that was about it. We'd all exchange gifts and talk about the past year and be happy. My great-grandmother passed away when I was in 5th grade, suddenly as a matter of fact; no one expected her to, although she was 73 I believe.
And even before that, my grandmother my mother and I lived with killed herself on Mother's Day when I was 7. Since then, my life hasn't been the same. Is it bad that I can still hear her talking to me, calling me "Dolly" like she used to? You better believe I was a devastated little girl after that. Gah, even thinking and writing about it is bringing me back...I could've stopped her, I know I could've. I could've stayed inside that day, but being me, I had to be outside, picking and arranging flowers for various occasions [yes, I was a practical little kid, even though I didn't play much; I was too busy with ballet and all the dance classes I was taking, as well as the occasional talent competition I got entered in]. But no, I had to be me...why?! She'd still be here...and I'd have someone else who cared about me. And my great-grandmother was her mother. No mother should have to bury their child; it's just not right. And the fact that she killed herself didn't help me.
But whatever. This year's going to be different, and I know I say that each year, but this time I'm dead serious. I'm going to attempt being actually happy, not just the happiness that comes from years of acting classes and plays. Richard♥ brings so much happiness into my life, it's illegal =P It's like I can't be upset when I'm talking to him; it's not allowed. It's amazing, and I love him so much for everything he's helped me through. Without him, I'd be a depressed emo kid again, and I don't want to be that anymore =]
This does bring me into something that is completely off-topic of my subject, but I just don't understand why people want to sabotage my relationship with Richard♥. It's like I can't be happy or something. My sister told Krystina that Richard♥ and I screwed, which WE DIDN'T, and she flipped out and yelled at Richard♥. That would've been alright with me, but his mother was reading the conversation and she now thinks I'm a dirty whore or something because apparently I'm screwing Richard♥. If needed, I'll prove I'm still a virgin; why is that so hard to believe? Yes, I've kissed guys; yes, I've made out; yes, I've touched things...that doesn't mean I've had sex, because I haven't. I don't plan on it for a long time still and I know Richard♥ feels the same way; sex is one of the last things on our minds. I hope people understand that. And I hope his mother can forgive me...or something...because I can't lose him. Without him, I'm nothing.
So with all that, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and happiness XD
until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: CHIODOS - Intensity In Ten Cities
via FoxyTunes
Saturday, December 22, 2007
"...I'm so A.D.D. with you but you still love me..." ~ IMA Robot <333
It's 9:40pm here in New York, and I'm all alone. Sad, isn't it? Actually, I'm not alone; I have many teddy bears around me, so I guess it's better than being all alone in an empty room. Oh, and I have my phone next to me just in case it decides to ring, which isn't likely since everyone else I know has lives and is busy or sick. Yep, life is great right now *rolls eyes*
Yesterday was completely the day from Hell for me, hands down. Right from the get-go it was horrible and it only snowballed from there. It's like I don't even want to talk about it; that's how much it sucked. The only thing that went alright was Taryn's birthday party, but even then I was lonely and depressed because Richard♥ was supposed to come with me and he got really sick so I was alone. Well, not alone; Liz hung with me all night and left when I did, so it's all good.
I got some pictures from there too of course:
^ She has to instruct him to look at the camera =P
Taryn and her love, Mike =]
^ Oscar kept me company; isn't he cute?! I love him =]
^ The Kristin Sandwich! XD Actually, the first time we did this, my head went right into Taryn's chest so it's all good =]
^ The cutest picture of the happy couple...
Although they're not as cute as Richard♥ and I ;D Hahahaha!
^ Piggyback ride for Taryn...although right after this, Mike dropped her. And I left.
Today was alright, kinda boring but whatever. Liz came over and we hung out until like 4pm and we stayed on a computer. It's like that's all I have to do here; computer and phone. Yep, exciting exciting. Then at about 6 or 7, I had a rehearsal for our church Christmas play and I completely used up my voice there on my solo. So right now, although I want to talk to people, my voice is a bit scratchy but I DO NOT CARE! PEOPLE NEED TO CALL ME OR I WILL DIE!
Other news:
I talked to Kyle tonight and he's not doing well. He's losing a lot of weight in short periods of time, and he's exercising twice as much as usual because he doesn't have anything to do now that college is out until next month. And the fact that he's addicted to coffee isn't helping anything. But he won't listen to me when I tell him he needs to chill on everything; actually, he got angry and annoyed when I even hinted that he wasn't looking good. But what can I do? If he doesn't want my help, I can't force him to take it, can I? I didn't think so.
Now I'm literally just waiting for someone to call me and restore my sanity. Seriously, I'm losing it inside and I have no idea why. I'm fine, but I feel really stressed out; no idea why.
Oh, and I want to get my own Guitar Hero. I've been on YouTube watching people play all the custom songs and they have a lot of the songs I really like and I'd sooooo kill to play them sometime =D They have "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional!!!!! That surprised me to no extent. And "Creeps Me Out" by IMA Robot XD Amazing! I need Guitar Hero!!!!!!!! =]
So I shall depart...maybe someone will call me or something *shrugs*
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: Ima Robot - Creeps Me Out
via FoxyTunes
Yesterday was completely the day from Hell for me, hands down. Right from the get-go it was horrible and it only snowballed from there. It's like I don't even want to talk about it; that's how much it sucked. The only thing that went alright was Taryn's birthday party, but even then I was lonely and depressed because Richard♥ was supposed to come with me and he got really sick so I was alone. Well, not alone; Liz hung with me all night and left when I did, so it's all good.
I got some pictures from there too of course:
^ She has to instruct him to look at the camera =PTaryn and her love, Mike =]
^ Oscar kept me company; isn't he cute?! I love him =]
^ The Kristin Sandwich! XD Actually, the first time we did this, my head went right into Taryn's chest so it's all good =]
^ The cutest picture of the happy couple...Although they're not as cute as Richard♥ and I ;D Hahahaha!
^ Piggyback ride for Taryn...although right after this, Mike dropped her. And I left.Today was alright, kinda boring but whatever. Liz came over and we hung out until like 4pm and we stayed on a computer. It's like that's all I have to do here; computer and phone. Yep, exciting exciting. Then at about 6 or 7, I had a rehearsal for our church Christmas play and I completely used up my voice there on my solo. So right now, although I want to talk to people, my voice is a bit scratchy but I DO NOT CARE! PEOPLE NEED TO CALL ME OR I WILL DIE!
Other news:
I talked to Kyle tonight and he's not doing well. He's losing a lot of weight in short periods of time, and he's exercising twice as much as usual because he doesn't have anything to do now that college is out until next month. And the fact that he's addicted to coffee isn't helping anything. But he won't listen to me when I tell him he needs to chill on everything; actually, he got angry and annoyed when I even hinted that he wasn't looking good. But what can I do? If he doesn't want my help, I can't force him to take it, can I? I didn't think so.
Now I'm literally just waiting for someone to call me and restore my sanity. Seriously, I'm losing it inside and I have no idea why. I'm fine, but I feel really stressed out; no idea why.
Oh, and I want to get my own Guitar Hero. I've been on YouTube watching people play all the custom songs and they have a lot of the songs I really like and I'd sooooo kill to play them sometime =D They have "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional!!!!! That surprised me to no extent. And "Creeps Me Out" by IMA Robot XD Amazing! I need Guitar Hero!!!!!!!! =]
So I shall depart...maybe someone will call me or something *shrugs*
until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: Ima Robot - Creeps Me Out
via FoxyTunes
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
[if I knew any of the lyrics, I'd post them here]
Right now, I should be in school, but I came home early for two reasons. One, I feel like crap. Two, it's "Elf Day" and I personally cannot stand it because to me it's just like human trafficking. You bet on your fellow students in hopes of getting them as your slave--excuse me, your "elf" for the day. I've been told they used to call it "Slave Day" but that's not politically acceptable anymore, so why are we even going through with this charade?
Whatever, not like I have a say in any of this...
This morning sucked major balls for me. I fell asleep in my bed upstairs last night, and woke myself up to go into my sister's bed because it's freezing in my attic room. As I was going down my stairs, I stepped on a nail and hurt my foot. Fan-freakin'-tastic. So I was awake until maybe 1:30am or so because it was painful. Then I get up at my usual time of 6:30am, and my head was completely congested and my nose was running; I caught a cold, joy. And then I look at my cell phone, and it died overnight, so I felt naked until I came back home. Then I get to school and accidentally leave my MP3 player in the cafeteria, which is like my life; I need my music to survive. Thank God my friend, Sherry, picked it up or else I'd probably still be without it. And I had just put 3 new songs on it before I left my house. Anyways, I get to Math class and, as usual, I complain to Adam about everything because he'll normally just tell me "I'm sorry, things'll get better" and let me go on my way. Today he sticks his wrist in my face and tells me to feel it. He might actually have tumors there, and it's most likely going to be inoperable. I can't lose AB; he's one of the very few friends I have that I trust with almost everything. And I just lost my aunt to cancer last month, I'm not watching one of my best friends die from it. On to the next unpleasantness, during lunch, Chris decided to put my hand on his crotch and wouldn't let me go until I squeezed his balls through his pants. I felt so dirty doing that, mainly because I'm with Richard♥ and also because this kid's only 15! I'm 18, this is ILLEGAL! I mean, yes, I flirt with everyone; it's a bad bad habit. I do it mindlessly, without any intention of doing anything afterwards. So then I left during Public Speaking, in which we weren't doing anything anyways, so it's all good.
Oh, and to make EVERYTHING ALL BETTER, I started PMS-ing last night, so my emotions are all out of whack. Isn't it great being a woman!? HELL FREAKIN' NO!
So, hopefully, later will be better for me. I want to be with Richard♥ and cuddle so badly right now, because I know he wouldn't mind me crying on him. I can't stop feeling like I'm going to cry every five minutes; it's madness. And also it's his band concert tonight, and I so wanted to go, but just couldn't find a ride. But I'll be with my love on Friday, so it's all good =]
Richard♥, I love you so much; you're the only thing that seems to be going right in my life at this moment. Unless you're dying of cancer as well...then we may have issues...
until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: The Dear Hunter - City Escape
via FoxyTunes
Whatever, not like I have a say in any of this...
This morning sucked major balls for me. I fell asleep in my bed upstairs last night, and woke myself up to go into my sister's bed because it's freezing in my attic room. As I was going down my stairs, I stepped on a nail and hurt my foot. Fan-freakin'-tastic. So I was awake until maybe 1:30am or so because it was painful. Then I get up at my usual time of 6:30am, and my head was completely congested and my nose was running; I caught a cold, joy. And then I look at my cell phone, and it died overnight, so I felt naked until I came back home. Then I get to school and accidentally leave my MP3 player in the cafeteria, which is like my life; I need my music to survive. Thank God my friend, Sherry, picked it up or else I'd probably still be without it. And I had just put 3 new songs on it before I left my house. Anyways, I get to Math class and, as usual, I complain to Adam about everything because he'll normally just tell me "I'm sorry, things'll get better" and let me go on my way. Today he sticks his wrist in my face and tells me to feel it. He might actually have tumors there, and it's most likely going to be inoperable. I can't lose AB; he's one of the very few friends I have that I trust with almost everything. And I just lost my aunt to cancer last month, I'm not watching one of my best friends die from it. On to the next unpleasantness, during lunch, Chris decided to put my hand on his crotch and wouldn't let me go until I squeezed his balls through his pants. I felt so dirty doing that, mainly because I'm with Richard♥ and also because this kid's only 15! I'm 18, this is ILLEGAL! I mean, yes, I flirt with everyone; it's a bad bad habit. I do it mindlessly, without any intention of doing anything afterwards. So then I left during Public Speaking, in which we weren't doing anything anyways, so it's all good.
Oh, and to make EVERYTHING ALL BETTER, I started PMS-ing last night, so my emotions are all out of whack. Isn't it great being a woman!? HELL FREAKIN' NO!
So, hopefully, later will be better for me. I want to be with Richard♥ and cuddle so badly right now, because I know he wouldn't mind me crying on him. I can't stop feeling like I'm going to cry every five minutes; it's madness. And also it's his band concert tonight, and I so wanted to go, but just couldn't find a ride. But I'll be with my love on Friday, so it's all good =]
Richard♥, I love you so much; you're the only thing that seems to be going right in my life at this moment. Unless you're dying of cancer as well...then we may have issues...
until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: The Dear Hunter - City Escape
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
::WARNING:: This is just me actually speaking my mind and shedding tears in the process -
I'm so sick of everyone treating me like I'm an idiot. Even my sister says I'm stupid, and she's nine. I'm sorry that it takes me a few minutes to process something that usually takes someone seconds to grasp a concept of. I don't mean to be slower than most people, I just am, and it makes me sad because then, in turn, I feel like I'm stupid.
It's like tonight at dinner. My father asked me what I was going to college for and I said photography, and he's like "Digital, I'm assuming?". Honestly, I was telling the truth when I said it didn't say digital or otherwise, and he got annoyed with me, and started saying something to the extent of "Well, let's say you worked for a phone company; you wouldn't just say 'I work for the phone company', you'd say 'I work for Such-and-Such phone company'. Photography is a broad subject...blah blah blah". I'm sick of being treated like this!
The only person that doesn't treat me like this now is Richard♥. Even some of my closest friends do, because they know I won't pick up on it for a while.
So I'm sorry I'm slow. I'm so sorry...
I'm going to cry in a corner now =[
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Now playing: Escape the Fate - Not Good Enough for Truth or Cliche
via FoxyTunes
It's like tonight at dinner. My father asked me what I was going to college for and I said photography, and he's like "Digital, I'm assuming?". Honestly, I was telling the truth when I said it didn't say digital or otherwise, and he got annoyed with me, and started saying something to the extent of "Well, let's say you worked for a phone company; you wouldn't just say 'I work for the phone company', you'd say 'I work for Such-and-Such phone company'. Photography is a broad subject...blah blah blah". I'm sick of being treated like this!
The only person that doesn't treat me like this now is Richard♥. Even some of my closest friends do, because they know I won't pick up on it for a while.
So I'm sorry I'm slow. I'm so sorry...
I'm going to cry in a corner now =[
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Now playing: Escape the Fate - Not Good Enough for Truth or Cliche
via FoxyTunes
"...in your eyes I lost my place..." ~ The Used <3333
For the record, I feel really insecure tonight, and I don't know why. It's bugging me a lot, because I honestly have nothing to be insecure about; I have a boyfriend who loves me with everything in him, friends that care a lot about me...no reason to feel this way, and yet I do. I hate it.
But whatever. This is an update, because for some reason, Richard♥ finds my life interesting. I hate to tell him but I only make it seem interesting in here; creative license, ya know how we do, foo' ;D I'm totally kidding...but I don't find my life that interesting. I mean, it has been since he came into my story, but yes. I just don't see what the intrigue is; then again, do any of us find our lives interesting. I mean, really, who sits there saying, "Wow, my life should be a television series, or a motion picture?". Maybe egotistical maniacs, but no one I know. Except maybe Adam, but that's just because I can so hear him saying that his life would make an amazing series on like ABC Family or something =P That's just my AB for ya =D
My past couple weeks have definitely been worthwhile, I guess. I've spend time with my Richard♥ and in that time, he entrusted me with his prized possession: his class ring. I'm wearing it right now.
^_^ Isn't it amazing?! I love it...it makes me feel like he's with me all time time. The only time I take it off is when I shower or wash dishes. Oh, and Gym class =P
So I was with Richard♥ Saturday night until about 10pm, and in this time, we watched about half of Sweet November. Now now, you pervs, calm down; it was only because my laptop died [we were in his car]. We then went to his house, and hung out in his room, being cute together as usual.
^_^ I licked him [I LOVE HIS FACE IN THIS PICTURE! It's so "you touch her, you die"], and then...
^_^ He licked me XD ♥
^_^ Amazing, because we are ♥
I love him so much, it's not even funny anymore =]
I also realized today that on Thursday, it'll be one month for us. I just can't believe that he stuck around for this long already; most guys would be sick of me within the first week or so. The last guy that was with me didn't even want to spend time with me. Granted, he's 21 and likes to drink with his friends, I think he should at least want to be around me a little bit. And if you're going to leave me, DO NOT do it through MySpace. At least call me or something, have some balls.
But I'm not afraid I'm going to lose Richard♥, because I'm 100% convinced that he honestly loves me. And if he doesn't then he's an excellent actor, but I don't think that he'd lie to me like this. I love him so much, right now it's killing me not to be with him. I'm seriously dying inside a little, each time I cannot be with him. Then we're together and I'm ecstatic. It's like we've been together for years, and I know in reality we will be. I love him. I love him. I love him.
I don't ever get tired of saying that I love him, either.
But that is all for tonight.
Oh and for everyone who reads this, PLEASE leave me a comment or something to let me know you've read it! I like knowing who knows what about my life and feedback is amazing, people! Thank you (^_^)
until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: The Used - I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes)
via FoxyTunes
But whatever. This is an update, because for some reason, Richard♥ finds my life interesting. I hate to tell him but I only make it seem interesting in here; creative license, ya know how we do, foo' ;D I'm totally kidding...but I don't find my life that interesting. I mean, it has been since he came into my story, but yes. I just don't see what the intrigue is; then again, do any of us find our lives interesting. I mean, really, who sits there saying, "Wow, my life should be a television series, or a motion picture?". Maybe egotistical maniacs, but no one I know. Except maybe Adam, but that's just because I can so hear him saying that his life would make an amazing series on like ABC Family or something =P That's just my AB for ya =D
My past couple weeks have definitely been worthwhile, I guess. I've spend time with my Richard♥ and in that time, he entrusted me with his prized possession: his class ring. I'm wearing it right now.
^_^ Isn't it amazing?! I love it...it makes me feel like he's with me all time time. The only time I take it off is when I shower or wash dishes. Oh, and Gym class =PSo I was with Richard♥ Saturday night until about 10pm, and in this time, we watched about half of Sweet November. Now now, you pervs, calm down; it was only because my laptop died [we were in his car]. We then went to his house, and hung out in his room, being cute together as usual.
^_^ I licked him [I LOVE HIS FACE IN THIS PICTURE! It's so "you touch her, you die"], and then...
^_^ He licked me XD ♥
^_^ Amazing, because we are ♥I love him so much, it's not even funny anymore =]
I also realized today that on Thursday, it'll be one month for us. I just can't believe that he stuck around for this long already; most guys would be sick of me within the first week or so. The last guy that was with me didn't even want to spend time with me. Granted, he's 21 and likes to drink with his friends, I think he should at least want to be around me a little bit. And if you're going to leave me, DO NOT do it through MySpace. At least call me or something, have some balls.
But I'm not afraid I'm going to lose Richard♥, because I'm 100% convinced that he honestly loves me. And if he doesn't then he's an excellent actor, but I don't think that he'd lie to me like this. I love him so much, right now it's killing me not to be with him. I'm seriously dying inside a little, each time I cannot be with him. Then we're together and I'm ecstatic. It's like we've been together for years, and I know in reality we will be. I love him. I love him. I love him.
I don't ever get tired of saying that I love him, either.
But that is all for tonight.
Oh and for everyone who reads this, PLEASE leave me a comment or something to let me know you've read it! I like knowing who knows what about my life and feedback is amazing, people! Thank you (^_^)
until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: The Used - I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes)
via FoxyTunes
Sunday, December 9, 2007
"...I know I'm not your favorite record..." ~ Fall Out Boy<333
I am 100% flat-out insanely in love with Richard♥. It's undeniable that he completes me totally, and that he has my heart =] One day we will be married and have our own family, and live happily ever after XD
Yesterday was Richard♥'s 18th birthday and I went to his party. Actually, I spent over 11 hours with him, and we're not sick of each other at all. Actually, we wanted to be together longer, which surprises me because usually people get bored of me rather quickly. And I know it's only been a couple weeks for us now, but it feels like we've been together forever, which is why I cannot wait to spend forever with him =]
Oh, I did get a couple pictures; not too many because (a) I was nervous and shaky and (b) I just forgot my camera on his dresser =P:
Our cuteness is undeniable; we compliment each other so well =]
The Lollipop Theory; I've licked him, therefore, he is mine ;D
So, on with his party...
His friends are amazing. I actually finally think I fit in somewhere now XD It's so cool! And I had so much fun playing [and sucking at] Guitar Hero =P
The only thing that set me off personally was the fact that Kyle just didn't want to leave me alone. He kept calling and texting my cell, and even called my house. It's like I can't have anyone else in my life except him, when in reality I always have. It may not have seemed like it
at times, but I did. And now all he does is harass me and not give me space. Even today he kept texting me and hounding me until I finally texted him back with one-word responses. If that isn't sign enough that I don't want to talk to him, I don't know what is.
But enough complaining!
I'm ecstatically happy and in love...nothing could bring me down right now XD
Richard♥ is my love, my heart, my soul, my life; I know I'm going to be with him forever =] I love him so very much XD
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: Fall Out Boy - Dead On Arrival
via FoxyTunes
Yesterday was Richard♥'s 18th birthday and I went to his party. Actually, I spent over 11 hours with him, and we're not sick of each other at all. Actually, we wanted to be together longer, which surprises me because usually people get bored of me rather quickly. And I know it's only been a couple weeks for us now, but it feels like we've been together forever, which is why I cannot wait to spend forever with him =]
Oh, I did get a couple pictures; not too many because (a) I was nervous and shaky and (b) I just forgot my camera on his dresser =P:
Our cuteness is undeniable; we compliment each other so well =]
The Lollipop Theory; I've licked him, therefore, he is mine ;DSo, on with his party...
His friends are amazing. I actually finally think I fit in somewhere now XD It's so cool! And I had so much fun playing [and sucking at] Guitar Hero =P
The only thing that set me off personally was the fact that Kyle just didn't want to leave me alone. He kept calling and texting my cell, and even called my house. It's like I can't have anyone else in my life except him, when in reality I always have. It may not have seemed like it
at times, but I did. And now all he does is harass me and not give me space. Even today he kept texting me and hounding me until I finally texted him back with one-word responses. If that isn't sign enough that I don't want to talk to him, I don't know what is.
But enough complaining!
I'm ecstatically happy and in love...nothing could bring me down right now XD
Richard♥ is my love, my heart, my soul, my life; I know I'm going to be with him forever =] I love him so very much XD
until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: Fall Out Boy - Dead On Arrival
via FoxyTunes
Friday, December 7, 2007
"..Don't give up; believe I'll wait it out for you..." ~ Armor For Sleep<333
Just so we all know, this is Post #69 in here XD I just thought that was insanely amusing!
The past couple days have definitely been....well....days, to say the least. One minute, I'm all high on life and everything's going great; the next, I feel like I'm microscopic and that I mean nothing to nobody. I hate that. It's slightly manic, honestly. But whatever, right? Such is the life of an 18-year-old girl.
Today was alright for me personally, but academically I sucked. I had to give a ten minute speech in my Public Speaking class and I totally forgot my notes, so I printed out all the information that I gathered off of Wikipedia and read it directly off the sheets, which is the first thing they teach you NOT to do. Then in Psychology we had a quiz that I didn't know we were having so, of course, I didn't study and I knew nothing about the theories of motivation and whatnot. It just sucked pretty badly for me in that aspect.
During 8th period, I continued reading Twilight and I realized that it's a lot like how my life was when I first moved out to Fort Plain. Bella is slightly different than all the people at her new school and she meets this beautiful man named Edward, who, incidentally, reminds me of Kyle and how he used to be around me; very shy, reserved, but not afraid to speak his mind to correct me on certain things. It's scaring me that it's so closely related to my life, but I'm too intrigued to stop reading; I'm also only on the third chapter =P But it seems to be well written, so that's a plus.
Tomorrow is Richard♥'s birthday and I'm going to spend almost 11 hours with him =D I'm ecstatic! And a bit nervous, because at 6pm, he's having his party and most of his friends are coming, and...well...we all know me =P But I'm slowly calming down and relaxing with the idea that I have to talk to and meet new people, although I know at least one of the people coming. This should be fun XD Expect pictures! Hehehe!
Other than that, I have nothing else I could say. I'm just ecstatic for tomorrow XDXDXDXD
I love you, Richard♥ [since I know he's going to read this =P]. I cannot wait for 1pm tomorrow....grrrr!!! =D
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: Armor For Sleep - Remember to Feel Real
via FoxyTunes
The past couple days have definitely been....well....days, to say the least. One minute, I'm all high on life and everything's going great; the next, I feel like I'm microscopic and that I mean nothing to nobody. I hate that. It's slightly manic, honestly. But whatever, right? Such is the life of an 18-year-old girl.
Today was alright for me personally, but academically I sucked. I had to give a ten minute speech in my Public Speaking class and I totally forgot my notes, so I printed out all the information that I gathered off of Wikipedia and read it directly off the sheets, which is the first thing they teach you NOT to do. Then in Psychology we had a quiz that I didn't know we were having so, of course, I didn't study and I knew nothing about the theories of motivation and whatnot. It just sucked pretty badly for me in that aspect.
During 8th period, I continued reading Twilight and I realized that it's a lot like how my life was when I first moved out to Fort Plain. Bella is slightly different than all the people at her new school and she meets this beautiful man named Edward, who, incidentally, reminds me of Kyle and how he used to be around me; very shy, reserved, but not afraid to speak his mind to correct me on certain things. It's scaring me that it's so closely related to my life, but I'm too intrigued to stop reading; I'm also only on the third chapter =P But it seems to be well written, so that's a plus.
Tomorrow is Richard♥'s birthday and I'm going to spend almost 11 hours with him =D I'm ecstatic! And a bit nervous, because at 6pm, he's having his party and most of his friends are coming, and...well...we all know me =P But I'm slowly calming down and relaxing with the idea that I have to talk to and meet new people, although I know at least one of the people coming. This should be fun XD Expect pictures! Hehehe!
Other than that, I have nothing else I could say. I'm just ecstatic for tomorrow XDXDXDXD
I love you, Richard♥ [since I know he's going to read this =P]. I cannot wait for 1pm tomorrow....grrrr!!! =D
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: Armor For Sleep - Remember to Feel Real
via FoxyTunes
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
"...Emptiness has darkened my eyes as I hopelessly beg for my life to end..." ~ Alesana<333
You know, life's funny. One minute, you're ecstatic and happily in love, and the next your ex is texting you, making you feel like crap because you're ecstatic and in love. At least, that's what going on tonight between Kyle and I. I understand my relationship with Richard♥ started quite suddenly for him, but there's no reason to start with the "woe is me; I'm never going to find anyone" crap. With me, of all people! I mean, I tried to make everything work for he and I for almost 3 years, and when I finally realized that it was going to amount to nothing I moved on. Forgive me for wanting to get on with my life, you know? Seriously, now he only wants to be with me because he can't have me, and, I'm most definitely NOT even THINKING about doing this but, if I were to leave Richard♥ and try to pursue a relationship with him again he'd say no, so there's no point in any of this, except to try and break me down. It's working to an extent; I'm starting to become a bit weaker, but once I talk to Richard♥ in a little while I'll be myself again =]
Other than that wonderfulness, nothing went on today because I stayed home to help my mother with the baby. Then, I made my MySpace look prettier and stuff.
That was about it =P
Well, with that, I guess I'll go find something to do until my beloved Richard♥ calls me or something =D
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: Alesana - Tilting The Hourglass
via FoxyTunes
Other than that wonderfulness, nothing went on today because I stayed home to help my mother with the baby. Then, I made my MySpace look prettier and stuff.
That was about it =P
Well, with that, I guess I'll go find something to do until my beloved Richard♥ calls me or something =D
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: Alesana - Tilting The Hourglass
via FoxyTunes
Monday, December 3, 2007
"...there are no raindrops on roses or girls in white dresses..." ~ Panic! At The Disco<333
Richard♥ came home last night, and we talked for almost a total of 5 hours; think we missed each other? I mean, I know he called me each night when he was in Rochester [for a chorus trip, not band; I got confused] but it was nice to have him back home and completely un-bloody-hinged with me again =D And plus, when he's home, I feel like I can completely be myself and not have to hold anything back XD So, yes, he's home in Amsterdam again =]
We had a 2-hour delay this morning because it was pretty bad outside. I personally think we shouldn't have had school because no one showed up anyways, but who am I to say anything like that? In English, Jadrian was looking for someone with a camera to record the quarter project that we have that's due on January 9, so of course I offered mine, which in turn makes me a part of his group, which consists of him, the foreign exchange student, and my ex. I have no issues with Jadrian or Son; it's Billy that seems to have an issue with me, because I dumped him almost a year or so ago. Isn't it sad that people hold grudges against others for such trivial things, like me dumping him? It's not like he didn't have other girlfriends after me; he actually dated Krystina a couple times after. But he honestly hates me with a huge passion, and it kills me to know that I caused this hatred by honestly not feeling love towards him. Yes, I told him I loved him; yes, we were close [we were together for just over a month and a half], but I didn't love him, and everyone knew that. Everyone told me to leave him, so neither of us would get hurt. But whatever. If he wants to hate me for doing the right thing for me, then so be it. He just has to get over it for a few days as we work on this project, which is worth most of the grades in the 2nd quarter.
Other than that, nothing exciting happened to me, except for the fact that I'm exceedingly annoyed at everyone who either says Richard♥ and I aren't going to last too much longer and/or Richard♥'s gay. First off, Richard♥ and I share a connection that we have never shared with anyone else; it's amazing, and I love it. We're meant to be together, so I don't think that we're going to be leaving each other at any point in our near future. Second, HE'S NOT GAY! If he was, would he even consider thinking I'm attractive and dating me?! Honestly, people need lives.
There was a point where I doubted everything today, and that was when I found out that my little friend, Ciera, and her boyfriend, Richard, broke up. And from what I've gathered it was all through MySpace. I guess he moved her down to number 10 or so on his top people, and she realized it was over. I just feel horrible, because she and I were under "The Richard Effect" XD Right now, though, I'm just kinda feeling bad for her, because she really loved her Richard, and we all thought they would be together for much longer than this.
And now I'm lonely...gahhh! I miss my Richard♥ =[
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: Panic! at the Disco - Build God, Then We'll Talk
via FoxyTunes
We had a 2-hour delay this morning because it was pretty bad outside. I personally think we shouldn't have had school because no one showed up anyways, but who am I to say anything like that? In English, Jadrian was looking for someone with a camera to record the quarter project that we have that's due on January 9, so of course I offered mine, which in turn makes me a part of his group, which consists of him, the foreign exchange student, and my ex. I have no issues with Jadrian or Son; it's Billy that seems to have an issue with me, because I dumped him almost a year or so ago. Isn't it sad that people hold grudges against others for such trivial things, like me dumping him? It's not like he didn't have other girlfriends after me; he actually dated Krystina a couple times after. But he honestly hates me with a huge passion, and it kills me to know that I caused this hatred by honestly not feeling love towards him. Yes, I told him I loved him; yes, we were close [we were together for just over a month and a half], but I didn't love him, and everyone knew that. Everyone told me to leave him, so neither of us would get hurt. But whatever. If he wants to hate me for doing the right thing for me, then so be it. He just has to get over it for a few days as we work on this project, which is worth most of the grades in the 2nd quarter.
Other than that, nothing exciting happened to me, except for the fact that I'm exceedingly annoyed at everyone who either says Richard♥ and I aren't going to last too much longer and/or Richard♥'s gay. First off, Richard♥ and I share a connection that we have never shared with anyone else; it's amazing, and I love it. We're meant to be together, so I don't think that we're going to be leaving each other at any point in our near future. Second, HE'S NOT GAY! If he was, would he even consider thinking I'm attractive and dating me?! Honestly, people need lives.
There was a point where I doubted everything today, and that was when I found out that my little friend, Ciera, and her boyfriend, Richard, broke up. And from what I've gathered it was all through MySpace. I guess he moved her down to number 10 or so on his top people, and she realized it was over. I just feel horrible, because she and I were under "The Richard Effect" XD Right now, though, I'm just kinda feeling bad for her, because she really loved her Richard, and we all thought they would be together for much longer than this.
And now I'm lonely...gahhh! I miss my Richard♥ =[
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: Panic! at the Disco - Build God, Then We'll Talk
via FoxyTunes
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