Well dang, almost a decade later and I'm back in the blog that pretty much started it all! (Okay, that's stretching it, considering I started on LiveJournal as ever good emo kid does, but this blog had the most clout at one point)
WordPress was great, don't get me wrong, but this one always felt like home to me. Also, I'm using the Android app to update so I'm aware the links and such are not working; I will fix them at some point.
Until then, let's get started!
In the past 6-8 years, there have been many boyfriends, apartments, and so much drama I don't even know where to begin. I think we should just stick to the last couple years. It'll just be easier that way.
In 2014, I moved from NY to Tennessee with a guy who basically promised to marry me if I moved south with him. Obviously that didn't pan out because I'm back in NY. Have been since 2015. 2016, I moved back to my hometown of Amsterdam, NY, where I had a really nice apartment with Cindy and her now husband. Everything was great until December 2016 when I met the guy who would change the course of my life for a while. I met him online and he came out to visit me, and at first everything was good (as it always is), but after about a month everything turned south, and while I probably should've run then, me being me, I stuck around for another year. We got an apartment together, and it was a rollercoaster of so much crap. Out of respect for him, I won't get into too much detail but I can reassure everyone that we are both in better places and circumstances than we were even 6 months ago when we parted ways. We're still friends, and while the romantic love is completely gone, we will always still care about one another thanks to everything we went through together.
As I said, 6 months ago, this guy and I split, and I ended up back with my family in Fort Plain. While I was recovering from this trauma (which sounds dramatic but if you're my friend and you know the story, trust me I'm still dealing with the aftermath), an old friend from high school started hanging around with me every day, making sure I was good and not just sitting around crying. He showed me what it means to be cared for and what it's like to actually have someone who wants to be there for you. After a few weeks, he expressed that he had feelings for me, and while I was still coping with the last break-up I couldn't deny I was falling for him too. The night that made me fully realize my feelings for him went as follows: I got out of work 5 hours earlier than expected during an overnight shift and I hoped he was still in town, so I texted him asking if he could give me a ride home, and without hesitation he agreed. We had to drop one of his friends off first, then headed to my house, where we proceeded to talk in his car from 2am until 7am, about anything and everything. I remember telling him over and over that I couldn't fall for him, not yet, but also that I was and I didn't know what to do, and he promised to wait until I was 100% ready to be his. I remember how cute he looked in the glow of the streetlights while telling me stories of parties and stuff he had been through in the past few years; his smile made me melt. As the sun came up, clouds immediately covered it and it started to rain, so I headed inside to maybe get some sleep, but instead we continued texting the rest of the day. This was the day my heart chose him, but my mind was not ready to fully commit. A week or so passes, we're hanging out at his house, having a bonfire with our friends, including Tawny, who I told all my feelings about him to and she encouraged me to take the leap. I did...through a text message while he stood 5 feet away from us. He came over and officially asked me if I'd like to do lunch or a picnic with him, and I agreed. Within another 3-4 days, we were Facebook official (because you know if it's not on Facebook, it's not legit), and it's been a lovely 4 & 1/2 months together so far. We've been on adventures, probably the most exciting was going to Connecticut to see Thirty Seconds To Mars back in June, and have been through some not so exciting things, but whatever we go through we do so together, which is so new for me but I love it, and I love him.
The love I feel for him is different than I've ever felt for another guy before. I feel safe, like I can trust him with my entire life and I'm not just saying it to be cutesy. He's been in love with me since we were 16, so I know he's not going to intentionally hurt me and definitely won't cheat on me. And due to the fact that we were friends first for many many years, there are so secrets or surprises that will arise; we know one another like the back of our hands. Oh, and his daughter loves me too, and I happen to think she's adorable!
This is it, guys. He is my one and only. The Jughead to my Betty. The Roger to my Jessica Rabbit. My endgame, my future husband. No one else could ever capture my heart in the ways he has, and I'm not letting him go for anything.
Some people just say it for the cliche, but I really do get to spend my life with my best friend.
Now on to more personal Kristin things.
Over the past few years, my depression had gotten worse and worse, and with this last relationship it hit its all time low. There were points where I wouldn't even leave the bed for anything, wasn't eating properly, and would have to force myself to work. The apartment was in shambles when we left it; it took Cindy, her husband, his cousin, and me about 3 hours to clean it up so I could officially be done with it, and even then my depression was getting worse. Being with Billy has been fantastic, because he understand what I'm going through better than most and actually cares enough to listen, and that helps so much. I did start going to therapy a couple weeks ago and have discussed antianxiety meds and possibly antidepressants. I just want to get through a day without crying or feeling pathetic, or getting super angry about things I have no control over. I'd love the flashbacks to go away, and to wake up happy and not wanting to give up on myself every day. Depression isn't just "Wahh I'm sad", it's deeper than that, and hopefully my therapist can help me get through my issues, because I know I'm no fun to be with or be around at this point.
I feel like I covered a great deal of my past 6-8 years, and I promise to come back soon!
Hopefully I'll be more consistent here than I was on WordPress 😝
until next we meet...
❤️*
WordPress was great, don't get me wrong, but this one always felt like home to me. Also, I'm using the Android app to update so I'm aware the links and such are not working; I will fix them at some point.
Until then, let's get started!
In the past 6-8 years, there have been many boyfriends, apartments, and so much drama I don't even know where to begin. I think we should just stick to the last couple years. It'll just be easier that way.
In 2014, I moved from NY to Tennessee with a guy who basically promised to marry me if I moved south with him. Obviously that didn't pan out because I'm back in NY. Have been since 2015. 2016, I moved back to my hometown of Amsterdam, NY, where I had a really nice apartment with Cindy and her now husband. Everything was great until December 2016 when I met the guy who would change the course of my life for a while. I met him online and he came out to visit me, and at first everything was good (as it always is), but after about a month everything turned south, and while I probably should've run then, me being me, I stuck around for another year. We got an apartment together, and it was a rollercoaster of so much crap. Out of respect for him, I won't get into too much detail but I can reassure everyone that we are both in better places and circumstances than we were even 6 months ago when we parted ways. We're still friends, and while the romantic love is completely gone, we will always still care about one another thanks to everything we went through together.
As I said, 6 months ago, this guy and I split, and I ended up back with my family in Fort Plain. While I was recovering from this trauma (which sounds dramatic but if you're my friend and you know the story, trust me I'm still dealing with the aftermath), an old friend from high school started hanging around with me every day, making sure I was good and not just sitting around crying. He showed me what it means to be cared for and what it's like to actually have someone who wants to be there for you. After a few weeks, he expressed that he had feelings for me, and while I was still coping with the last break-up I couldn't deny I was falling for him too. The night that made me fully realize my feelings for him went as follows: I got out of work 5 hours earlier than expected during an overnight shift and I hoped he was still in town, so I texted him asking if he could give me a ride home, and without hesitation he agreed. We had to drop one of his friends off first, then headed to my house, where we proceeded to talk in his car from 2am until 7am, about anything and everything. I remember telling him over and over that I couldn't fall for him, not yet, but also that I was and I didn't know what to do, and he promised to wait until I was 100% ready to be his. I remember how cute he looked in the glow of the streetlights while telling me stories of parties and stuff he had been through in the past few years; his smile made me melt. As the sun came up, clouds immediately covered it and it started to rain, so I headed inside to maybe get some sleep, but instead we continued texting the rest of the day. This was the day my heart chose him, but my mind was not ready to fully commit. A week or so passes, we're hanging out at his house, having a bonfire with our friends, including Tawny, who I told all my feelings about him to and she encouraged me to take the leap. I did...through a text message while he stood 5 feet away from us. He came over and officially asked me if I'd like to do lunch or a picnic with him, and I agreed. Within another 3-4 days, we were Facebook official (because you know if it's not on Facebook, it's not legit), and it's been a lovely 4 & 1/2 months together so far. We've been on adventures, probably the most exciting was going to Connecticut to see Thirty Seconds To Mars back in June, and have been through some not so exciting things, but whatever we go through we do so together, which is so new for me but I love it, and I love him.
The love I feel for him is different than I've ever felt for another guy before. I feel safe, like I can trust him with my entire life and I'm not just saying it to be cutesy. He's been in love with me since we were 16, so I know he's not going to intentionally hurt me and definitely won't cheat on me. And due to the fact that we were friends first for many many years, there are so secrets or surprises that will arise; we know one another like the back of our hands. Oh, and his daughter loves me too, and I happen to think she's adorable!
This is it, guys. He is my one and only. The Jughead to my Betty. The Roger to my Jessica Rabbit. My endgame, my future husband. No one else could ever capture my heart in the ways he has, and I'm not letting him go for anything.
Some people just say it for the cliche, but I really do get to spend my life with my best friend.
Now on to more personal Kristin things.
Over the past few years, my depression had gotten worse and worse, and with this last relationship it hit its all time low. There were points where I wouldn't even leave the bed for anything, wasn't eating properly, and would have to force myself to work. The apartment was in shambles when we left it; it took Cindy, her husband, his cousin, and me about 3 hours to clean it up so I could officially be done with it, and even then my depression was getting worse. Being with Billy has been fantastic, because he understand what I'm going through better than most and actually cares enough to listen, and that helps so much. I did start going to therapy a couple weeks ago and have discussed antianxiety meds and possibly antidepressants. I just want to get through a day without crying or feeling pathetic, or getting super angry about things I have no control over. I'd love the flashbacks to go away, and to wake up happy and not wanting to give up on myself every day. Depression isn't just "Wahh I'm sad", it's deeper than that, and hopefully my therapist can help me get through my issues, because I know I'm no fun to be with or be around at this point.
I feel like I covered a great deal of my past 6-8 years, and I promise to come back soon!
Hopefully I'll be more consistent here than I was on WordPress 😝
until next we meet...
❤️*
Comments