Skip to main content

::WARNING:: I am about to blow up and it's not going to be pretty

So I just read someone who will remain nameless's blog entry for the second time and realized that the only person who honestly trusts me at the moment is Kyle♥, and even then he's afraid to tell me certain things because I'll get upset. What you all have to realize is getting angry, upset, happy, depressed...they're all a part of life. I deal with it how I deal with it, may it be listening to music that fits the mood or crying or watching some of my favorite shows. I'll admit that there are nights when I want to just go off and end my life, but I also know that everyone feels that way sometimes. So if you're one of the people I talk to and we're friends, please don't hold things back from me. Please. It makes me feel like I'm not trusted and that hurts so much worse than actually being pushed away. Yes, I would rather just be told to go away than not know what's going on in their life. I'm not saying I'm nosy, I just like knowing so that if anything happens I don't get a "don't worry about it, it's nothing" only to read about it days later with a "I couldn't tell Kristin this; it would've upset her, but Kristin, I'm sorry". No, I'm sick of it. I'm actually thinking of not talking to anyone anymore. It's the only way I won't get close to someone only to have them push me away [yes, that's what you're doing by holding things back from me, even if it's not your intention]. I'm not a freaking pansy who can't handle anything. I've come a long way from crying over someone liking someone...I am more mature than that.

This is why I need Kyle♥. He'll actually sit there, listen to me cry, and *gasp* TALK TO ME! Yes, there's a lot of communication between us...it's amazing. He's by far my closest friend at the moment, and I can't talk to him until Friday most likely, because he's busy with school work and such. I wish he still lived in Fort Plain, because even he said we'd be hanging out quite a bit, watching Anime and M*A*S*H.

But apparently this is just how it's meant to be for me...
As my away message said, "whateverrrrrr"

until next we meet...
♥*

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Well I may have your heart, He has your body..." ~ Bayside <3! [Don't Call Me Peanut]

And so goes another one out of my life most likely. Yep, I lost another friend in the last 48 hours; Spencer. All I can say is I'm sorry, but Cora was just telling you what I was thinking but not telling you; I wasn't going to go over to Bob's, get wasted, and potentially sleep with you. No. That's NOT how I work, and you of all people should know this by now. But whatever. Like my IM said to him earlier, he knows how to get at me. *sigh* So about how that even came about... My family went away to The Great Escape Lodge this weekend, leaving me back here in East Bumblebuttons because I had to work :/ It's all good; I had my own fun. I worked, hung out at the Bowley's house with Joanna and Melissa, hung out with Cora at Rite Aid, then even hung with Amy for a little while and talked about old times :) It definitely was super fun for me. Now how does Spencer work into this? Well, he had told me earlier in the week that he was going to go help Zach housesit for Bob...
8 comments
Read more

"'Cause I'm lonely & I'm blue, I need you, & your love too..." ~ Fontella Bass!

Call me a weirdo but I love older music. For real, anything from the 1950s, later 1960s, scattered 1980s, 1990s, and early to mid 2000s (and the occasional new song/artist) make me a happy panda :D Working at Rite Aid I hear a bunch of songs I've come to fall in love with...like "Rescue Me". Alright, here it goes. I'm sorry, readers; I've lied to you on several occasions. I said "Casey and I are done, I'm done, No going back" but he started texting me again, saying he loved me and that he's always loved me, he wants to marry me, blah blah blah, so what do I do? Granted, I know dang well he's a lost cause, I still take him back and wanted to help him. Today he stops talking to me, deleted me from Facebook, and refused to answer his phone. This time, I'm SERIOUS! I'm done. I can't take this anymore. He's got multiple personalities or Bi-polar or something seriously mentally wrong with him that I'm not able to help solve (yet...
1 comment
Read more

:o!

I love how I go a couple months without updating here then come back with so many new stories! :D When we last left off I was getting over Casey, still stuck on Lvlien while planning to move closer to him for college, and Dollface & I were inseparable. And now...the update! I have the most amazing boyfriend ever! Seriously, this one is going to last. We have so much in common [both personality and interest wise], my family loves him, and I know I love him too! His name is Justin, and without him I'd be so lost. He's really there for me through everything, and I know he loves me for me. We met while I was hanging out at FMCC and he was taken but liked Tawny. Long story short, he dated Tawny for 3 weeks, they broke up, I waited a few, then ATTACKED! Okay, not ATTACKED! but I did ask him out and he said yes :D Friday we will have been together for one amazing month, which y'all know is a big feat for me these days. I'm just so glad he's happy with me and we make ea...
8 comments
Read more