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::WARNING:: I am about to blow up and it's not going to be pretty

So I just read someone who will remain nameless's blog entry for the second time and realized that the only person who honestly trusts me at the moment is Kyle♥, and even then he's afraid to tell me certain things because I'll get upset. What you all have to realize is getting angry, upset, happy, depressed...they're all a part of life. I deal with it how I deal with it, may it be listening to music that fits the mood or crying or watching some of my favorite shows. I'll admit that there are nights when I want to just go off and end my life, but I also know that everyone feels that way sometimes. So if you're one of the people I talk to and we're friends, please don't hold things back from me. Please. It makes me feel like I'm not trusted and that hurts so much worse than actually being pushed away. Yes, I would rather just be told to go away than not know what's going on in their life. I'm not saying I'm nosy, I just like knowing so that if anything happens I don't get a "don't worry about it, it's nothing" only to read about it days later with a "I couldn't tell Kristin this; it would've upset her, but Kristin, I'm sorry". No, I'm sick of it. I'm actually thinking of not talking to anyone anymore. It's the only way I won't get close to someone only to have them push me away [yes, that's what you're doing by holding things back from me, even if it's not your intention]. I'm not a freaking pansy who can't handle anything. I've come a long way from crying over someone liking someone...I am more mature than that.

This is why I need Kyle♥. He'll actually sit there, listen to me cry, and *gasp* TALK TO ME! Yes, there's a lot of communication between us...it's amazing. He's by far my closest friend at the moment, and I can't talk to him until Friday most likely, because he's busy with school work and such. I wish he still lived in Fort Plain, because even he said we'd be hanging out quite a bit, watching Anime and M*A*S*H.

But apparently this is just how it's meant to be for me...
As my away message said, "whateverrrrrr"

until next we meet...
♥*

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