Skip to main content

::WARNING:: I am about to blow up and it's not going to be pretty

So I just read someone who will remain nameless's blog entry for the second time and realized that the only person who honestly trusts me at the moment is Kyle♥, and even then he's afraid to tell me certain things because I'll get upset. What you all have to realize is getting angry, upset, happy, depressed...they're all a part of life. I deal with it how I deal with it, may it be listening to music that fits the mood or crying or watching some of my favorite shows. I'll admit that there are nights when I want to just go off and end my life, but I also know that everyone feels that way sometimes. So if you're one of the people I talk to and we're friends, please don't hold things back from me. Please. It makes me feel like I'm not trusted and that hurts so much worse than actually being pushed away. Yes, I would rather just be told to go away than not know what's going on in their life. I'm not saying I'm nosy, I just like knowing so that if anything happens I don't get a "don't worry about it, it's nothing" only to read about it days later with a "I couldn't tell Kristin this; it would've upset her, but Kristin, I'm sorry". No, I'm sick of it. I'm actually thinking of not talking to anyone anymore. It's the only way I won't get close to someone only to have them push me away [yes, that's what you're doing by holding things back from me, even if it's not your intention]. I'm not a freaking pansy who can't handle anything. I've come a long way from crying over someone liking someone...I am more mature than that.

This is why I need Kyle♥. He'll actually sit there, listen to me cry, and *gasp* TALK TO ME! Yes, there's a lot of communication between us...it's amazing. He's by far my closest friend at the moment, and I can't talk to him until Friday most likely, because he's busy with school work and such. I wish he still lived in Fort Plain, because even he said we'd be hanging out quite a bit, watching Anime and M*A*S*H.

But apparently this is just how it's meant to be for me...
As my away message said, "whateverrrrrr"

until next we meet...
♥*

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Well I may have your heart, He has your body..." ~ Bayside <3! [Don't Call Me Peanut]

And so goes another one out of my life most likely. Yep, I lost another friend in the last 48 hours; Spencer. All I can say is I'm sorry, but Cora was just telling you what I was thinking but not telling you; I wasn't going to go over to Bob's, get wasted, and potentially sleep with you. No. That's NOT how I work, and you of all people should know this by now. But whatever. Like my IM said to him earlier, he knows how to get at me. *sigh* So about how that even came about... My family went away to The Great Escape Lodge this weekend, leaving me back here in East Bumblebuttons because I had to work :/ It's all good; I had my own fun. I worked, hung out at the Bowley's house with Joanna and Melissa, hung out with Cora at Rite Aid, then even hung with Amy for a little while and talked about old times :) It definitely was super fun for me. Now how does Spencer work into this? Well, he had told me earlier in the week that he was going to go help Zach housesit for Bob...
8 comments
Read more

"If it's not perfect I'll perfect it til my heart explodes..." ~ Hinder <333

Now that ^^ is an old song...at least to people my age haha! It was super popular in 2005, and then Hinder started to suck. I never gave it any thought until I heard it with Tawny today, and I was like "WHOA! This song actually makes sense to me now!" The chorus goes: Go home, get stoned We can end up making love instead of misery Go home, get stoned Because the sex is so much better when you're mad at me After dating (and having sex with) a stoner, I understand this now. Wow, am I enlightened! Hahaha! I hung out at FMCC today, mostly with Spencer as I said was going to happen :P Actually before that, I hung out with Cindy; I MISS HER LIKE CRAZY! Then I was with Spencer for almost 3 hours, until Aaron came and stole'd him away D: :P I went into the "Dungeon", found Lauren and Adam, FINALLY talked to Justin, and then saw Mike and his new girlfriend, which is a girl I've known for a couple years now named Alea. Then Tawny and I left campus, went to McDonal...
6 comments
Read more

EPIPHANY! :D

If you think about it, being in love is simply settling for someone you really get along with who has similar interests that you can't describe why you feel the way you do for them but you do and it's an amazing feeling. I've always wanted to believe that love and all things related was like this biiiiig beautiful rainbow of stuff that happened and we'd all live happily ever after. WRONG! Love is exactly what my quote above says; settling for that one person who makes you happy and you get along with. Now, I've had my share of bad relationships, let's not kid ourselves, but honestly I take each one and use it towards discovering what I really want out of a longer lasting one. For instance, in my last relationship the guy I was with would walk around his town with me and show me everywhere he used to work or hang out at; I felt like I was getting a deeper understanding of him. I liked that. Unfortunately, he's addicted to pot; that I didn't like. The...
4 comments
Read more