Ugh, today was...well...a day *shrugs* Aside from the fact that I was exhausted, I miss Richard♥ and spent most of the day in deep thought over a lot of things that I probably over-analyzed too much. This, in turn, raised my heart-rate at least 1000%, which is quite scary.
I know I have to distance myself from Kyle a little bit, because it's going to affect my relationship with Richard♥, but I talked to Kyle's friend Kevin's little brother who's in my grade, and he says that Kevin told Kyle to stop calling and he doesn't want to talk to him. This means that I am now his only true friend who hasn't betrayed him, at least I don't think I have. I've always been there for him, as he as for me too, but I know when it's too close for comfort. And lately, he's been my vacuum attachment and I really don't like it. I love Kyle, he's my best guy friend and has been my savior for the past 2 and a half years. But during those years, I waited and waited and waited to get him as my boyfriend and he just didn't want to be. He likes all the benefits of me trying to get him to date me, but hates commitment. So now I've moved on; actually, I did back in the summer, to be honest. I've found someone who honestly loves me for me, not for what I'd do with him or my body. Kyle's very threatened by Richard♥. I just hope he knows he's not going to lose me, just the benefits and stuff like that.
This has affected me all day, but it's my own fault if I think about it. Honestly, I didn't mean for it to get like this with Kyle. I thought that eventually he'd just give up on his stubbornness and date me. But when that didn't happen, I gave up, and he knew that. Then he started to act a bit interested, so I'd dump whoever I was with and continue to be with Kyle as his best friend with benefits. This continued until I started my relationship with Richard♥, because I love him with everything in me. He's my soul-mate, my lover, the other half of me that makes me complete. Kyle just needs to realize that he's not losing my friendship, just the make-out sessions and such.
I now feel a bit used. And quite rightfully so, I'd say. But whatever.
My day was basically all kinda eh because of that. I do have some pictures, though, because taking pictures makes me a little happier:
^ My friend, Aimee, decided she was going to get in my picture here after Gym today =P
^ Oh no! She wants to steal my brain :o No idea why, since there's nothing in there except happy thoughts of being with Richard♥ =]
^ "We can live like Jack and Sally if we want" [sadly, this isn't my sweater =( Wish it was...I LOVE Jack and Sally XD]
^ Dr. Evil wears a purple Jack Skellington scarf =P
So, in conclusion, if my love Richard♥ happens to read this, I want him to know that I love him so very much and we're going to get through this, no matter what it takes.
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: The Used - Blue and Yellow
via FoxyTunes
I know I have to distance myself from Kyle a little bit, because it's going to affect my relationship with Richard♥, but I talked to Kyle's friend Kevin's little brother who's in my grade, and he says that Kevin told Kyle to stop calling and he doesn't want to talk to him. This means that I am now his only true friend who hasn't betrayed him, at least I don't think I have. I've always been there for him, as he as for me too, but I know when it's too close for comfort. And lately, he's been my vacuum attachment and I really don't like it. I love Kyle, he's my best guy friend and has been my savior for the past 2 and a half years. But during those years, I waited and waited and waited to get him as my boyfriend and he just didn't want to be. He likes all the benefits of me trying to get him to date me, but hates commitment. So now I've moved on; actually, I did back in the summer, to be honest. I've found someone who honestly loves me for me, not for what I'd do with him or my body. Kyle's very threatened by Richard♥. I just hope he knows he's not going to lose me, just the benefits and stuff like that.
This has affected me all day, but it's my own fault if I think about it. Honestly, I didn't mean for it to get like this with Kyle. I thought that eventually he'd just give up on his stubbornness and date me. But when that didn't happen, I gave up, and he knew that. Then he started to act a bit interested, so I'd dump whoever I was with and continue to be with Kyle as his best friend with benefits. This continued until I started my relationship with Richard♥, because I love him with everything in me. He's my soul-mate, my lover, the other half of me that makes me complete. Kyle just needs to realize that he's not losing my friendship, just the make-out sessions and such.
I now feel a bit used. And quite rightfully so, I'd say. But whatever.
My day was basically all kinda eh because of that. I do have some pictures, though, because taking pictures makes me a little happier:
^ My friend, Aimee, decided she was going to get in my picture here after Gym today =P
^ Oh no! She wants to steal my brain :o No idea why, since there's nothing in there except happy thoughts of being with Richard♥ =]
^ "We can live like Jack and Sally if we want" [sadly, this isn't my sweater =( Wish it was...I LOVE Jack and Sally XD]
^ Dr. Evil wears a purple Jack Skellington scarf =PSo, in conclusion, if my love Richard♥ happens to read this, I want him to know that I love him so very much and we're going to get through this, no matter what it takes.
until next we meet...
♥*
----------------
Now playing: The Used - Blue and Yellow
via FoxyTunes
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