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"Lose one friend, Lose all friends, Lose yourself" ~ Shaun Hunter :: Boy Meets World

My subject sort of fits what my entry will be about. It's a little about friendships, a little about myself, and a little about love/caring/honesty.
Sunday September 6, 2009, was the epitome of bad day for me (next to getting dumped then having to drop out of high school, I mean; nothing could top that). I lost two friends who I thought would always be there for me in less than 10 minutes it seems, then I lost another later that day. Details are sketchy (as always) but this just made me realize something that I have always been too blind to see my whole life: I SHOULD NOT BE AS TRUSTING AS I AM. The two friends I lost together were the closest to me, the ones I went to when something bad would happen and they'd try to cheer me up or the ones who would wreak havoc late at night with me when we were all bored and didn't want to sleep yet. The other one might come back to me later in life, and I hope they do because I truly do think they're an amazing person. They get me better than almost anyone else I've known; no one else except Kyle and this person have seen the real me under the facade I put on to upkeep my other "friends".
But then...something clicked with me. Just as I'm about to say "I just lost all my friends", it hit me: I have many more friends than I've realized and a family who cares about me more than anyone else ever will :) That one realization kept me from becoming manic depressive and doing something stupid.
So this is the new me, saying goodbye to the people who have used me and the people who have hurt me and saying hello to the ones who never would...at least intentionally.

I'm back living with my family, and I actually could not be happier. I never thought I'd ever miss them as much as I did but I'm glad they've accepted me back even though there really isn't any room for me :X They love me, and I love them. Things are going to be better for me now, I just know it.
To the ones I now know truly care and want me around: Thank you so very much! Without you guys, I'd be nothing XD We have many, many more fun times ahead of us, trust me!


Oh...and 10 days until I'm 20! I'm excited even though 20 isn't all that important of a birthday :P

until next we meet...
♥*

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