"You're the missing piece I need, The song inside of me, I need to find you, I gotta find you..." ~ Camp Rock <333

Shut up, Camp Rock was your A-typical Disney Channel Original Movie but the songs were super catchy. Especially that one I quoted in my subject line; "I Gotta Find You" <3 Even though I HAAAATE the Jonas Brothers, Joe Jonas does an excellent job with this song. Seriously, go check it out on Youtube or something :)

So just to clarify I gave it a lot of thought before I even thought of a relationship because, let's be honest, I've been hurt many many times. But everything is different with Andrew. Yes, I am officially in love with Andrew <3 He has become my one and only, and I would not have it any other way :) And to make it all better, he feels the same exact way about me :D Isn't this bliss?! Isn't this what love is all about?! Finding someone who shares similar feelings, interests, and whatnot, and developing feelings for them? :)

^^ Le sigh...<33333! I love my Andrew-kitty! :3

Other than that, my job has just owned my soul and will continue to until after Christmas :( ughhh!

until next we meet...
♥*

"I want you leather dirty kiss in the scene, And I want your love..." ~ Lady Gaga <3

Yes, I'm a closet Gaga fan. She's really very talented and her songs are quite catchy. I probably wouldn't pay big money to see her live, but if the opportunity arose I'd take it.

Today was a strange day. Woke up to a text from Cora asking me what was wrong with Dave, who's Tweet read "Going to the ER". He's still living, so that's good, but his Bell's Palsy is acting up again, so that's bad :(
James and I talked for a while today, where he tried to convince me to date his friend that I'm NOT ATTRACTED TO AT ALL! and then told me I'm going to be a crazy cat lady D: Oh, and the douche has midnight opening tickets to New Moon and ISN'T GOING! That, my friends, is a travesty! But ahh well!

Seriously, people need to let me think for myself and let me fall down to pull myself back up! It's how I get stronger and learn from my mistakes. For example, I CAN FIND MY OWN GUYS! If they happen to be bad and dump me, oh well. I'll survive. Look how nicely I've progressed since James; I'm willing to find someone new but I don't NEED to. And everyone NEEDS to STOP MAKING FUN OF ME OVER EVERYTHING! If it's in the past, leave it there! I'm sick of having my stupid moments and douchey comments made at me over and over again. Seriously, you all need lives.

*sigh* I need to sleep now...above everything else.
until next we meet.
♥*

Songs I've Been Pretty Addicted to Recently:

*I feel obligated to let you guys into my mind a bit more. Music is my heart, so here are some of the songs I just can't stop listening to*

- "The Way" by Fastball [Amazing song about people who decide to just ditch life and be free of everything]
- "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga [I think the title says it all, but she's trying to get a man to fall in love with her by stalking him]
- "Skid Row" from Little Shop Of Horrors [I was in this play for about a week 2 years ago and fell in love with this song. It depicts my town almost to a T.]
- "Love Is..." by Bo Burnham [As twisted as it gets, he does explain love quite nicely.]
- "Breathe Into Me" by Red [It's a Christian hardrock song and it's one of those "I'm Headbanging And I'm LOVING IT!" songs :D]
- "World Of Our Own" by Westlife [I had searched for this song for YEARS and FINALLY found it! It's an adorable love song about finding your perfect one <3]
- "Weightless" by All Time Low ["...Maybe it's not my weekend/But it's gonna be my year..."]
- "Hats Off to Larry" by Del Shannon [50's music rocks!]
- "Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet" by Fall Out Boy [This song has several different genres crammed into 4 minutes. LOVE!]
- "Distance" by Faktion [This is my extreme depression song. It really makes you feel like crying and giving up so I can't listen to it often but the singer is amazing.]
- "Positive" from Legally Blonde The Musical [Anthony and I saw this live last November and we loved it, so I have the soundtrack. This is the perfect song to get a happy boost from :)]
- "Remembering Sunday" by All Time Low [My favorite song ever. It gives me chills and makes me smile]
- "Fire Burning" by Sean Kingston [SHUTUP! I love this song. It was the song of my summer 09. Seriously, it's catchy and I can dance to it XD]
- "Second Chance" by Shinedown [Unexplainable]
- "Mister Cellophane" from Chicago [Personally, I like the original better, not the one from the movie but I have the movie version. The point still gets across; I feel invisible sometimes...and I could strip to it XD]
- "My Freeze Ray" from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog [Neil Patrick Harris is a very talented singer. This song is about find a crush/love interest in a laundramat and being too afraid to talk to her so you invent a freeze ray so you can freeze time and get the nerve to talk to her. Adorable.]
And last but not least...
- "She Paints Me Blue" by Something Corporate [JACK'S MANNEQUIN IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO SOMETHING CORPORATE! Seriously, yeah I know it's the same singer but the sound is different, in my opinion. "She Paints..." is basically a metaphor for someone leaving someone else.]

You'll notice there's no Ludo on this list. That's because they haven't come out with anything worth my time recently. Seriously, they just released their first two albums that I've had since 2008 :/ Come on, Andrew Volpe, give me new reason to renew my love for you <3

What are some songs you can't stop listening to? :)

♥*

"If it's not perfect I'll perfect it til my heart explodes..." ~ Hinder <333

Now that ^^ is an old song...at least to people my age haha! It was super popular in 2005, and then Hinder started to suck. I never gave it any thought until I heard it with Tawny today, and I was like "WHOA! This song actually makes sense to me now!" The chorus goes:
Go home, get stoned
We can end up making love instead of misery
Go home, get stoned
Because the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
After dating (and having sex with) a stoner, I understand this now. Wow, am I enlightened! Hahaha!

I hung out at FMCC today, mostly with Spencer as I said was going to happen :P Actually before that, I hung out with Cindy; I MISS HER LIKE CRAZY! Then I was with Spencer for almost 3 hours, until Aaron came and stole'd him away D: :P I went into the "Dungeon", found Lauren and Adam, FINALLY talked to Justin, and then saw Mike and his new girlfriend, which is a girl I've known for a couple years now named Alea. Then Tawny and I left campus, went to McDonald's, and then hit up Rite Aid :D I came home, and here I am XD hahaha!
Oh, Spencer enjoyed my MP3 player and its West Side Story ways :D I'm just happy he and I found something else we have in common :P Unfortunately, he thinks All Time Low is whiny so I can't get him a ticket to their concert next month (by the way, WHO WANTS TO GO?!) :'[

Such an exciting life I lead...

Actually, I've been quite entertained all night by this guy named Andrew who is one of Richard's friends from forever ago (well, it would HAVE to be forever ago; it's about Richard :/). He seems like a sweetheart, and can keep me amused for more than 5 minutes. I'll keep him around ;]]

Alright, listening to my sister singing "You're The One That I Want" from Grease is making me want to punch babies...and I never thought I'd EVER say that. Seriously, I think it's just because she keeps singing the same verse over and over...ugh!

GIVE ME TOPICS TO DISCUSS FOR NEXT TIME! :*
until next we meet...
♥

"Someone tell me I still could get out of here..." ~ Little Shop Of Horrors <333

In a pretty good mood today. I made my mom practically die laughing over the idea or image of a fatman riding a bus :P (It's one of those you-had-to-be-there moments, I guess)
I'll be up at FMCC tomorrow between 8:15 to 12:30, more than likely with Spencer, so if you want to see me you should find us. He's going to be attached to me (and I'll LOVE it! hahaha!) XD

Alright, I promised Cora I was going to blog something about this next topic. I meant to last night but it just ran away SCREAMING so I'll do it now.
All my life I've been on the search for my soul mate, that one person who would make me feel "complete" and I'd marry them and live happily ever after. More recently, however, I've come to realize something. Yes, I do want to find that ONE person. Yes, I do want to fall in love. No, I don't HAVE to right now. I'm content with life as is; I don't need a boyfriend or man in my life to make me feel anymore complete than I already to. Content with being single, unless you're an Earth-shockingly AMAZING guy I will probably reject you. Nothing against you, personally; I just do honestly have a lot on my plate right now with College Applications, work, and just general finding myself things. If you really think I'm the one, we can be friends and get to REALLY know each other before taking it to the next level. I'm sick of jumping into a relationship and having it fail miserably because one of us realizes the other isn't compatible. So, guys, males, men, boys, whatever you'd like to be called...wait for me <3 I'll be ready in a few months maybe; right now, I'm enjoying being independent and happy :)
And yes, I've already broken at least three hearts because of this, and I am sorry but, like I've been trying to say, it's time for ME to be happy now.

And with that, I'm going to shower and get ready for tomorrow! :D
until next we meet...
♥*

"There is no joy in these kids; they feel invisible. That's why every one of them has a MySpace page" - GLEE♥

Okay...NEED to FOCUS! DESPERATELY need to update you all on the happenings of the past month I think since I've updated.

Spencer is like my twin brother/one of my best friends. I talk to him about everything (even if it's grotesque and he doesn't want to hear it :P) and he still willing listens to me :) I love him <3
I had a boyfriend for maybe 3 days named Casey. He seemed nice...until he dumped me, saying he cheated on me. Whatever. I'm over it now.

AND THE BIGGEST PART OF MY MONTH:
Recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking about college and what I'd like to do. As I've stated, I don't have any measurable amount of talent for much of anything, and I seem to lose interest in things quickly, so what could I possibly do with my life? My friends, whom I love and adore, jumped at the opportunity to point out my annoying flaws in an attempt to either help me or make me see I'm a worthless cause. Instead Spencer said "Be a private investigator" so THAT'S WHAT I SHALL BECOME :D
I'm going to apply to SUNY Cortland once I get the $40 application fee (yes, with a large application fee comes a good college, I guess) and I hope I get in! Cortland is out near Ithaca, which is where my Ith boys are...and I miss/love them dearly! <3 *keeps fingers crossed*
What do you guys think? Do I have a shot?

Also recently, I've become stronger and have had the power to say "No" to certain people, and in some cases I've been able to push them out of my life. I'm not trying to be heartless; I'm just trying to find friends and lovers who truly appreciate me. Like, okay, I'm not that hard to put up with! Certain "friends" would roll their eyes when my name is mentioned, or worse, act all nice-nice when I'm around and talk about how annoying I am after I'm gone. I hate that! I don't need that, and I'm happier than I've ever been nowadays.

Alright...I have a headache and am sleepy :/

until next we meet...
♥*

I eventually need to update on the past month almost.
Someone remind me?