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"I'll change my ways, no never mind..." ~ Shinedown <333

In this post I may go into a pity party, but just bear with me, okay? Seriously, I've had more heartache in the past month than I think I've ever endured before, which is saying a lot if you haven't read the Kyle saga of 2007 in my Blog Archive.

Right now, I'm torn between two guys; one I've dated before and one who I've always wanted to date but for some reason we never did. Guy #1 is one of my closest friends, we know practically everything about each other, we have fun together, and I know there are feelings there, but we have dated before so this makes things complicated. Guy #2 is always the one to pick me up when I fall, to be there understanding my side of the breakup stories after my breakups, and who can always get me to talk about any situation. I think Guy #2's issue is he's not completely over his exgirlfriend, which is a big one but I'd still like a shot. Both guys are attractive and talented in their own ways, and I love them both. I have friends who would both support and kill me if I went back out with Guy #1 but my heart likes him a lot. Everyone and their grandmothers know I've always loved Guy #2; at one point, people labeled it "obsession". It's not like he's married or anything, and he does find me attractive, fun to talk to, and virtually amazing.
Unless there's something horribly wrong with me that utterly repulses men from me. I don't know. I know I'm not perfect; let's face it, I've got a ton of flaws. But I can't be that bad...can I? :( Seriously, this is giving me a complex! UGH!

Anyways, today was a pretty good day for me. Amy and I hung out in Amsterdam with Andrew; we got Chinese and went to Target where I discovered they didn't have the sweater I wanted anymore :/ I knew I should've bought it back in November! Sigh...then I went to buy Big Bang Theory season two on DVD but they stopped me because I could watch it for free online but really I like holding the show physically in my hands. It's all good though; I still have my $30 gift card from Christmas that I hopefully will use at some point soon :)
I love hanging out with both of them, even though they don't let me look at the baby aisle or CDs :P

*sigh* I'm just waiting to see what happens now. And for Andrew to call me in between World Of Warcraft raids or battles or whatever he's doing WoW-related :P
until next we meet...
♥*

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