"Everytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes..." ~ Savage Garden<333

Well, I'm back! Sorry for the long absence, I was grounded for getting a couple failing grades. Eh, it happens, right?

When we last left off, Rocky and I were going to go to a hardcore rock show. It was amazing! Painful, because people at Northern Lights are IDIOTS! but the show was amazing!!!! Alesana rocked; I'm so glad I got into them before I went to see them, it made a world of difference. The Devil Wears Prada were pretty cool, although I didn't know any of their songs. CHIODOS could've done so much better but they were alright for another band I knew =]
During the concert, Rocky and I almost passed out because that place was packed to the extreme. By the time we left [which we actually stood outside during CHIODOS], we were covered in our sweat, other people's sweat, water, and beer [at least I was; someone chucked a cup at me]. Rocky joked with me when we got to my house by saying, "You smell like BO, but the sad thing is it's not your BO".

Of course I got some pictures!:

^ Two of the members of The Devil Wears Prada. Rocky, Brandon [little kid who went with us], Katy, and I all talked with them for about a half hour before the show =] They're pretty cool for rockstars.

^ Mike [the lead singer of The Devil Wears Prada] and I before the show. Isn't he adorable?!

^ The stage before Alesana performed. I just love that poster. Actually, this guy that was standing behind me asked me if I wanted him to take this picture for me and I agreed, which is why it's so good! Of course when the band started, he pushed me down and stuff but I still got the picture =]

^ Craig Owens [lead singer of CHIODOS], taken by Rocky without a flash on =P As Rocky says, "He's on FIIIIIRE!" XD

More recently, however, I got a new boyfriend. I believe I have mentioned Jeremie before. Yes, according to MySpace and Facebook, we're in a relationship, and he wants so badly to meet me and hang out, and in a way I want the same thing, but right now, I'm still in love with Kyle♥ and I wouldn't mind dating Clayton but he doesn't like dating...*sigh* Kyle♥ told me last week that work is his lover, so I don't have a shot with him right now, although he'll always be my best friend regardless. So I'll stick with Jeremie and see where this goes =]

So yes, Kyle♥'s alright, just busy with college and stuff. I miss him, but if I keep saying that, you'll all stop reading =[

Well, before I leave, I have to leave you with some happiness!:

^ This is one of the many stray kitties on my street. I've affectionately named him Jameson and I'm determined to make him mine! =D

^ Autumn has arrived! It's my favorite season because I LOVE the leaves and their pretty colors they leave [haha!]

^ Welcome to life in Fort Plain...I stood on a street between a church and a funeral home, trying to just capture more foliage but it didn't work too well. So...welcome to life in Fort Plain!

Oh, and I know I'm a weirdo who goes to hardcore shows then comes home to listen to Savage Garden =P But they're so good! I ♥ them! And I can't believe they broke up =[ Makes me sad...
But I do love CHIODOS! They're amazing<3 style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I owe Cindy $40 because she paid for my tickets to the hardcore show =P Just reminding myself XD

until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: Savage Garden - I Want You
via FoxyTunes

"...you say that we're nothing, I say you're scared..." ~ The Prom Kings<333

This may turn into a long drawn out blog entry but I don't know yet. We'll just have to see =]

Last night, Clayton, Krystina, and I hung out from like 7:30pm until 9:30pm at Krystina's house. It was fun, sort of. I started dozing off on Clayton and we cuddled =]
Yupp, he's the black hood on my chest there =PKrystina hates light bulbs and such, so she lit candles for light...I think she just wanted to set the mood to try and get into Clayton's pants ;] It didn't work anyways =P
He was tired and apparently I make a good pillow =]
So once he and I left, I had to call Kyle♥ back because he called while I was with them, and I really didn't want to talk to him while her video game was blasting and Clayton was on top of me. Kyle♥ and I talked for almost an hour, give or take, and it just made me realize that I miss him more than I've ever missed anyone else =[ Like right now, I just wish I could see him, even if it's just through a window. I love him; he's my best friend and he's been there for me through so much, I don't know what I'd do without him in my life. And I know I've said that way too many times, but it's the truth. I love Kyle♥ and nothing's going to tear us apart. Nothing. No distance, person, nor circumstance will separate us.

We all remember Jon, right? My now ex-boyfriend? Well, he's now not even my friend anymore. He started telling me that I'm mentally unstable, I hide behind all my "issues", and no one understands me. This made me laugh so hard, and when he told me I had to "grow up", all I said was "screw you" and blocked him on AIM. I don't need him. I don't think I ever did; I was just lonely when I dated him, and he took away my loneliness for a time, but then I realized that I didn't need anyone except my true friends. Now he's engaged to some chick in Florida who seems to be as insane as he is, so more power to them, I guess. Whatever. Any guy who believes that The Mad Hatter and Alice from Alice in Wonderland should hook up is completely out of it. And to think, Jon's opposed of incest...hmmm...he makes no sense to me, which is fine because I make no sense to him. Oh, and for the record, I dumped him.

Well, I guess this isn't too long and drawn out but still pretty long =] I think I just kept a lot inside for a while due to the fact that I realized: it's no one's business but my own most of the time. I mean, I share a lot with Cindy, Kyle, and Clayton, but that's about it.

Nest big thing going on with me: I'm going to another concert with Rocky on Friday XD I'll get pictures, don't worry =P

until next we meet...
♥*

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Now playing: The Prom Kings - Bleeding
via FoxyTunes

"...don't shoot until you see the red and white..." ~ Evans Blue

So, as I stated in my survey I posted almost a week ago, I didn't go to Boston for my Senior Trip =[ This actually didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would, but it still depressed me.

Not too much went on since I last posted something. I've been alone for the past 5 days practically and today was Kyle♥'s birthday [he's 20 now XD] so we talked for almost two hours on the phone and he made me happy. We also talked Friday night until about midnight, which was amazing =] I REALLY cannot wait to see him and hug him again XD

Other than that, I'm just looking forward to Friday, October 12, because I'm going to another concert with Rocky XD I can't wait, because it's going to be sick nastyyyyy! We're going to see The Devil Wears Prada, CHIODOS, Alesana, and Underminded =] I CANNOT WAITTTTTT!!!!!!!!

Well, I guess I'll come back whenever I have more to gush about =P

until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: Evans Blue - Kiss The Flag
via FoxyTunes

TAG! [I'll update in a little while =D]

5 Things In My Bag
[I'll just go with my UNDEROATH messenger bag]
* pens
* notebooks
* Math textbook
* lip gloss
* camera

5 Things In My Head
* I miss Kyle♥
* How am I ever going to find a job by Wednesday!?
* Gahh this Britney Spears music is annoying me
* The song "In A Red Dress And Alone" by Evans Blue
* Did I mention I miss Kyle♥?

5 Words That I Frequently Use
* WEEEEEEE!
* Chyeah
* Wordddd
* No, I mean...
* Kyle♥ [yes, I'm as bad as Seth Cohen on The OC with talking about Summer]

5 Recent Sms-es Received
* Taryn
* Bling
* Clayton♥
* Cindy
* Kyle♥ [back in July]

5 Recent Things I Just Did
* Sat in Study Hall
* Talked with the teachers about how I can't go on the Senior Trip; no money =[
* Walked home
* Thought about eating
* Rewatched the videos from today

5 Things In My Wardrobe
* T-Shirts
* Long sleeved T-Shirts
* jeans
* Black pants
* pretty panties

5 Things I Just Ate
[I don't even think I've eaten 5 things yet today]
* Pop Tarts
* Hot Dogs
* French Fries
* Texas Toast
* ?

I Am Tagging
Honestly, there's no one here I could tag, so I tag whoever wants to do this & Cindy =P

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Now playing: Say Anything - Admit It!
via FoxyTunes

"...it's lacking strings of punctuation at the end..." ~ hellogoodbye<33

It's such a cute song I'm listening to, "Dear Jamie...Sincerely Me" by hellogoodbye. It's about a guy who writes a letter to this girl he likes.

Anyways, I'm sorry that the last post was me blowing up. Everything's alright now; trust me, I'm a lot better =] I've talked to the people that I was mad at and we're all cool now =D If you really want to know what was going on, let's just say I was having a rough week and a lot was getting to me and I was taking it all personally. But by talking to everyone that made me feel like that [and Kyle♥, of course], I'm over it and back to normal [understatement of the year there =P].

Other than that, I hung out with Clayton yesterday; the second time in almost two weeks =D He's so much fun! I really hope we get to hang out more often =]

^_^ Aren't we adorable? =] That's my beautiful teh hottie<33>

^ That's my naked stick Clayton stripped [is it bad that I still have it with me in my room?]

^ I forget which song he was looking for, but I had to get another picture of us somehow...this worked for me =]

Never forget:
hanging out at Krystina's, Disturbia [25/7], my sucky Guitar Hero/Tetris/Devil May Cry skills, the controller had lube on it, the threesome ;], chocolate syrup and peanut butter, annoying Krystina, and so much more! XD


Other than Clayton coming out to Fort Plain, I've talked to Kyle♥ all weekend and I absolutely love him to death and beyond. He is my best friend through everything, even if I never get to see him anymore =[ Just remember: Winter is almost here, which means cold and that counts as being connected to him. Who am I kidding? I'm connected to him 24/7 with the necklace he gave me =D I never take it off, except to shower.

Well, this is going to be another busy week for me. Aside from normal school, I have to find a job and on Thursday I leave for my Senior trip to BOSTON! I can't wait! I LOOOOOOOVE that place so much! Of course, I'll be bringing this and my cell phone so anyone who wants to keep in contact can, unless you want to wait until Monday the 8th [Kyle♥'s birthday] when I return.

I will most likely return before I leave. Until then, I shall leave you all with a poem I wrote this afternoon to a guy I'm starting to fall hard for:

From the first moment I saw you
I knew you were different
And I had to get to know you
When I tried to
You ignored me
Pushed me away, we could call it
Then things changed
We began talking
Distance isn't always a bad thing
In this case, it brought us closer
And now I'm into to you
More than I can express with my words
Through this poem or communication
I'll do anything
To hear you feel the same for me
But I know that'll probably never happen
I've been hurt so many times before
I'm afraid to let you know
How much you mean to me
Because if I'm damaged again
No one could put the pieces back together
So in essence
I really like you
Find you attractive
Want to be with you
Can you say
You want to be with me too?

until next we meet...
♥*
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Now playing: Hellogoodbye - Dear Jamie...Sincerely Me
via FoxyTunes

::WARNING:: I am about to blow up and it's not going to be pretty

So I just read someone who will remain nameless's blog entry for the second time and realized that the only person who honestly trusts me at the moment is Kyle♥, and even then he's afraid to tell me certain things because I'll get upset. What you all have to realize is getting angry, upset, happy, depressed...they're all a part of life. I deal with it how I deal with it, may it be listening to music that fits the mood or crying or watching some of my favorite shows. I'll admit that there are nights when I want to just go off and end my life, but I also know that everyone feels that way sometimes. So if you're one of the people I talk to and we're friends, please don't hold things back from me. Please. It makes me feel like I'm not trusted and that hurts so much worse than actually being pushed away. Yes, I would rather just be told to go away than not know what's going on in their life. I'm not saying I'm nosy, I just like knowing so that if anything happens I don't get a "don't worry about it, it's nothing" only to read about it days later with a "I couldn't tell Kristin this; it would've upset her, but Kristin, I'm sorry". No, I'm sick of it. I'm actually thinking of not talking to anyone anymore. It's the only way I won't get close to someone only to have them push me away [yes, that's what you're doing by holding things back from me, even if it's not your intention]. I'm not a freaking pansy who can't handle anything. I've come a long way from crying over someone liking someone...I am more mature than that.

This is why I need Kyle♥. He'll actually sit there, listen to me cry, and *gasp* TALK TO ME! Yes, there's a lot of communication between us...it's amazing. He's by far my closest friend at the moment, and I can't talk to him until Friday most likely, because he's busy with school work and such. I wish he still lived in Fort Plain, because even he said we'd be hanging out quite a bit, watching Anime and M*A*S*H.

But apparently this is just how it's meant to be for me...
As my away message said, "whateverrrrrr"

until next we meet...
♥*

"...give me envy give malice give me attention..." ~ Panic! At The Disco<333

Today has had its ups and downs to say the least. Let's talk about ups first, shall we? [Even though I'm more of a downs person myself]
I gave a speech on Keanu Reeves in Public Speaking today and I used a slideshow I made as my visual aide. Everyone loved it =] And they all love the fact that I can make slideshows on my laptop =D I'm just a cool kid, I guess. Then I discovered that my digital camera's video recorder records sound! I'm like ecstatic =D I was making videos all night. I then went to Joanna and Melissa's house and Melissa helped me with my English essay, which is all about Kyle♥ [gee, think I miss him much?].
And now for the downs [my favorite *rolls eyes*]. I was up until 2:30am talking to Donny, who I think I'm falling for again [sounds like the Three Days Grace song "Over and Over"]. I know nothing's going to happen though, because I know he doesn't want me like that [no one does anymore]. Then, I came home from Joanna and Melissa's house and Cindy called me, telling me that there's a new guy she likes but I can't know who he is. She's posted some of their conversation in her blog, and just by the way he types things I can tell who it is almost. And yet, even though I've attempted guessing, she doesn't trust me enough to tell me if I'm correct. I take this as a trust issue, and for the life of me, I don't know why she wouldn't trust me. But whatever, I don't care. Lately, everything's been a personal attack to me...*shrugs*

This is why I wish it was Summer again, and I could call Kyle♥ and he could cheer me up, like he usually does. But of course, Summer can't last forever...can it?

Anyways, here's the video[s] we made during study hall[s] today:

Half of it was filmed by Coty and the other by me. Fun stuff =]
Yeah, I'm not in a talkative mood, unless it's to Kyle♥ or Donny...


until next we meet....
♥*