& you're in my head...♥

w00tz! This is my hundredth post in here! XDXD Let's keep me blogging for many many more years to come, shall we? And no Elijah my blog does NOT suck! :P So today was definitely an emotional rollercoaster for me. I attempted getting back together with James, and it failed; he doesn't want committment and I do. I then attempted getting him to make me hate him, and he got close; he basically told me that dealing with me is like "running in circles with a retard" so I cried, screamed "I HATE YOU" at him through the phone, and hung up. He and I just need time then we'll be friends. Remember Kyle, everyone? If you don't or weren't around back then, refer to May 2007 - sometime in 2008 I think. Kyle was my "high school sweetheart" in a way; we dated on and off a few times and then lost contact until last week. Now he won't stop texting me :P He's attempting to get me to date him again, and I may but I'm skeptical. What if...

I took a better picture this morning so you all can either "AWWWW" or laugh at my hair: And yes I AM 20! I know I look like I'm 12 here but bear with me. I also FINALLY got around to uploading my Bo Burnham videos from his show but I don't think I'll post them all here at once; maybe one a day for five days :D Day One :: My Whole Family... Excuse the fact that I'm so far back; we had seats in the second to last row because I didn't know I was going until 2 days before and purchased our tickets that Friday at 5pm :P I'm cool, I know. Still amazing sound quality, eh? Oh, I may come back later. I don't know yet. until next we meet... ♥*

Color Oops is probably good for those of us who DO NOT BLEACH THEIR HAIR as much as I have. You see I went from having super dark hair to this: Now I understand that I'm a natural blond but come on! Haha! On the bright side, James says I can now pull off being the slutty pumpkin for Halloween (it's a How I Met Your Mother thing; my favorite episode :]]) That's it for tonight, since I need to be up early to work for Vicki tomorrow morning. I'm going to rewatch The Guild and crash! until next we meet... ♥*

After careful consideration and a lot of thought (which I'm thinking are almost the same thing), I've decided that I'm going to be different. In a good way. Like...a better person who loves life, herself, and her true friends :) I know I've been taking advantage of most of my friends, and I'm truly sorry about that; it just hit me :/ so from now on I'm going to be calmer, less clingy, and more fun! :D And don't just sit there, laughing, saying, "OMG Kristin?! More fun?! She could never be!". Think again, doubting Thomas! It's going to happen and it's going to be...LEGENDARY! BUT ENOUGH OF THAT! :D This past week has been pretty good, for the most part. That boyyy and I are still talking, and we're still friends :) James tried asking me back out, and I rejected him; I REALLY don't want him back, and I REALLY have moved on! But I have to say the highlight of my ENTIRE week was the Bo Burnham show I went to with Adam last night ...

People say you learn something new everyday, what did you learn today? Maybe there really isn't a perfect one out there for each of us. Did you have a good day yesterday? For the most part, until the night. Have you done anything embarrassing lately? I don't get embarrassed. Proven fact. What is something you disliked about your day? Coming to the realization that he doesn't want me. How has the past week been for you? My past week was epic win. Does anyone disgust you? A couple people. Who was the first person you talked to today? Kory. Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you? Not recently. Have you ever taken someone back after they hurt you? Several times. I never learn. Do you have a lot on your mind at the moment? Oh, wouldn't you like to know? Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? That's a silly question considering that my most recent one does want me back. Are you wearing any make up right now? Eye liner. Has ...

Ugh, I feel so blah tonight :( I don't even know why, to be honest; like, I have no reason to be. But part of me is screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! JUST STOP WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD!" and the other part is all "Everything will work out in the end; stay at it!" and then there's a teeny, tiny little voice saying "Don't listen to anyone". I hate this feeling. It makes me just want to give up and accept defeat. If I went back to him, it would just end badly like it did the first time. If I keep waiting around for him to make up his mind, I could be waiting forever. See my paradox? Someone have any advice for me! I leave you with my song of the night ["No One Looks As Good As You In That" - Evans Blue] until next we meet... ♥*

* NEVER follow any code (ie - The Bro Code, The Girl Code, etc); always just do what makes you happy. * When attempting to catch someone's attention, make sure they cannot read your blog :x Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be. * Don't talk to a person about themselves. Example - Kristin wouldn't talk to Kory about Kory; Kory wouldn't talk to Kristin about Kristin. [these are just examples and since I'm talking to him at the moment, he's the first name that popped in my head, sorry] * Nothing good happens after 2am; when 2am hits you just go to bed. There you have it! :P

In case you all missed it or didn't know to begin with, today is my 20th birthday! Wootz! I've been alive for two decades...and what an eventful two decades they have been :P I don't know why, but I have an amazingly good feeling about this year. I mean, not much as changed dramatically since I was 19 (okay it's been a half-hour but still). Is it because I'm actually happier with my life? Could be. Is it because I'm getting closer and closer to Kory every time we talk? Could be. Whatever the case, I hope this lasts for me XD On a slightly more random note, I've become slightly addicted to Lady Gaga's song "Paparazzi". It's so catchy and fun, and according to James it should be my theme song...? Well, I'm going to go back to IMing Kory and whatnot before crashing until next we meet... ♥

Life and people involved in it are funny, strange individuals. Never a dull moment.

Defintely LOVE this :D

Have you ever set anything on fire? A candle and a cigarette. Yes. Has anyone ever called you heartless? Oh, several times. Who sent the last text that made you smile? Probably Dave. If you don't like someone, are you mean to them, or do you ignore them? Ignore them. Can you tell me a little secret you have? I've liked the same guy since 8th grade and still haven't given up on him yet :P Do you eat meat? Yes sir. Would you like to lose weight? Yes sir. Do you watch any tv shows with your mother? TV on DVD and not too much. Do you know when your parents' anniversary is? June 28. Who are you thinking about right now? A couple people. Which would be more meaningful to you: I love you a lot, I love you so much, or I love you more than anything? I love you more than anything, which is a lie but it's a nice lie. If I say "psycho", who is the first person that comes to your mind? Ahahahaha...don't ask me that. Does it piss you off that stupid sixth graders th...

And now the old flames will pass away I saw your light once, did you see mine? But not all things will pass away You turned your light off, so I turned mine Away from your sadness Away from the nothing that you feel for me Is this how you wanna go down right before my eyes? You are the saddest sight I know You're so quiet and you never make a sound But here inside my mind you are the loudest one I know And you were right, right from the start It took everything you had but you finally broke my Quote hey, listen 'cause I'll only say this once I finally found the words that mean enough to me Goodbye my soul, unquote [Evans Blue :: Quote] Okay, so it's not the happiest song or the whole song but it's what sticks out to me the most tonight. I hung out with my friends earlier; they're dating and watching them cuddle and everything killed me. I miss it...a lot. Can't sugar-coat it. But whatever, maybe I'm just not the girl for anyone right now. Yes, I do l...

So it's almost midnight here in rainy Fort Plain, NY, and I should be going to sleep since I have to get up at 7am to be at work for 7:45 but I have everything and nothing going through my head all at once. Firstly, I mentioned in an earlier entry that I go by the name KristaVolpe a lot of the time now. There is a reason for that and you may think it's a stupid one, but whatever. When I quit high school, I lost all my friends. Even when I went to SCCC to get my GED did I not have too many people I could talk to; my only real friends were online. One day, I'm sitting in the common area of SCCC chatting with my friend Lauren on AIM and she tells me to go to her MySpace and see what she's done with it. Turns out she found a new band and stole their layout :x But that's not all--she made her song into this infectously catch rock song called "Love Me Dead". Now at first I was like "'Love Me Dead'? That sounds horrible! Who would write such...

As I looked through some of my Facebook friends' photos, I realized something that I should've picked up on years and years ago: I've never really fit in. Okay, sure, I have Anthony, Cora, Tawny, and many other friends, but they didn't come into my life until after I met the ones from elementary school. Those ones were the first friends you were supposed to have in life, and apparently I just wasn't up to their standards. I did have one friend from Kindergarten; she and I were inseparable...until I moved away for a few months, she got into sports, and when I returned she ignored me like I never existed. Now she's happily married in another state; how did I find that out? Facebook and MySpace. I just think it's sad that I find out most of my information about people from the internet when others are getting a first-hand account. The one friend that got me thinking about this was a guy I've also known since Kindergarten. He and I were never close, cl...

new girl is training today. i forgot my necklace at home. im working until nine. oh...and im still single. suck universe much?

i can now mobile update my blog! awesome XD

Ahh, to be happy! You know, I used to think happiness was overrated and only for set people, but really anyone can be happy, even me the emo kid XD Honestly, it just took a few bad events and turns in my life to make me realize this. One friend that was mad at me is no longer mad at me; they're talking to me and everything again. The other, however, says they will remain upset with me, but in time I know I'll be forgiven...at least a little. Nothing will ever be as it was though, this I know for a fact. But maybe this is a good thing. Everything happens for a reason, eh? Then the other other friend is the most confusing person I've ever met but in time we will speak again. Work is good, keeps my mind occupied and all. Ohhh, boys! There are two I'm in between at the moment; and by in between I mean I like them both. One is named Dave; he's James' best friend and he's adorable, funny, charming, sweet, and did I mention adorable?! He plays video games...

My subject sort of fits what my entry will be about. It's a little about friendships, a little about myself, and a little about love/caring/honesty. Sunday September 6, 2009, was the epitome of bad day for me (next to getting dumped then having to drop out of high school, I mean; nothing could top that). I lost two friends who I thought would always be there for me in less than 10 minutes it seems, then I lost another later that day. Details are sketchy (as always) but this just made me realize something that I have always been too blind to see my whole life: I SHOULD NOT BE AS TRUSTING AS I AM. The two friends I lost together were the closest to me, the ones I went to when something bad would happen and they'd try to cheer me up or the ones who would wreak havoc late at night with me when we were all bored and didn't want to sleep yet. The other one might come back to me later in life, and I hope they do because I truly do think they're an amazing person. They g...